Thug: You a fat slut!
Thugette: I ain’t fat, nigga!
–86th & Lex
Thug: You a fat slut!
Thugette: I ain’t fat, nigga!
–86th & Lex
Queer: And my boyfriend like, totally, oh my god, reached across the table… Like, across the table and strangled me. I seriously couldn’t breathe. Like, he strangled me. Here, put down your coffee, he did this [reaches across table and strangles ghetto black man]. Isn’t that crazy? Like, what the fuck would you do?
Ghetto black man: Poop.
–Starbucks, 16th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Erica
Thug #1: I was watching Oprah yesterday…
Thug #2: Really?
–F train
Overheard by: Michael
Thug #1: Wait, wait, you had her eat out your asshole?
Thug #2: Dawg, you just said that mad-loud!
–1 train
Overheard by: not interested
Thug in Navigator: Hey! Where’s Brooklyn Bridge at from here?
Guy in car: Uhhh…
Queer in back seat: You’re asking three white guys in a Connecticut car? Fuck! You ain’t gonna make it.
–Flatbush Ave, off the BQE
Overheard by: TK, third guy from CT who didn’t know either
Thug boy: He’s a really nice guy.
Thug girl: No, he cheated on Betty twice!
Thug boy: True.
–Steinway St, Astoria
Woman: So he wakes up trippin’ in the middle of the night, telling me to go get him a gun.
–Queens Blvd & 82nd Ave, Queens
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Conductor: This is an express train. Express. Express. Express. No Fordham, no Bronx. Express, express, express. Well…I wanna shoot myself!
–Metro North train
Overheard by: Jeff
Man: Hey baby, nice body … Get fat and I’ll shoot ya.
–Classon Ave & Lafayette Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: sheila
Hobo: My grandma isn’t here anymore to send me to the store to buy her a Colt 45, but I can still love Jesus!
–Uptown 3 train
Overheard by: jane shields
Ghetto guy: Man, my boy just got shot!
–Stanton St & Orchard St
Overheard by: Kris
Thug: A gun? You gotta shoot that bitch with a crossbow.
–L train, Lorimer Ave
Ghetto man: A groopie ain’t nothin’ but a high-class ho.
Ghetto woman: Please, a groopie is a ho with standards.
Ghetto man: Whatever, a groopie’s no different than a prostitute. But I respect a prostitute ’cause she don’t keep it a secret. A prostitute will fuck you for a happy meal. A happy meal! Not even a value meal!
Ghetto woman: Well, maybe all she wants is a happy meal.
Ghetto man: Yeah, for the toy!
–Grand Army Plaza subway station, Brooklyn
Hispanic thug #1: You have to hit a kid to teach him respect.
Hispanic thug #2: That doesn’t work
Hispanic thug #1: Sure it does, remember when I stole that stuff when I was younger and dad hit me? That taught me the respect that I needed not to steal
Hispanic thug #2: You still steal.
Hispanic thug #1: Yeah, but not from my family.
–Downtown 4
Thug #1: Yo, I heard some shit about they got sperm samples of scientists from the 1950s stored underneath the ice skating rink.
Thug #2: Oh shit, look at that bitch’s ass over by the flags.
Thug #1: Damn.
–Rockefeller center
Overheard by: Nado
