Geek #1: Wow. You’ve got a death metal shirt on top of a death metal shirt on top of another death metal shirt!
Geek #2: No, it’s a black metal shirt on top of a death metal shirt on top of another black metal shirt!
Geek #1: Oh! It’s a sandwich!
–Grassroots, St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Meli$$a
Chick #1: So he just threw his shoes out?!
Chick #2: Yeah, he said he would never dance again.
Hobo: Never dance again!
–St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave
40-something: Okay, lemme get two grande black coffees.
Barista: $4.10.
40-something: You know what? Make those ventis.
Barista: $4.44.
40-something: Okay, don’t kill me, but could I get one grande and one venti?
Barista: No.
40-something: What?
Barista: No.
40-something: You know, two ventis is perfect.
–Starbucks, Union Square
Woman: Breastfeeding her baby is not the same as taking a shit.
Man: Yeah, it is. It’s like shitting in the baby’s mouth.
–3rd & 2nd
A stray kitten wanders up to a little girl who bends down to pet it.
Mom: Come on, sweetie, it’s time to cross the street.
Little girl, dismayed: But I’m petting the kitty.
Mom: Honey, we need to go. Say bye-bye, now.
Little girl: Goddammit, mommy, I’m petting the kitty!
–17th & 6th
Girl #1: I can’t even talk to her anymore. All she does is sit in her room, smoke pot and sulk. It’s pathetic.
Girl #2: That’s kind of what I do.
Girl #1: Me, too. But it’s okay, ’cause we’re not fat like she is.
Girl #2: Totally!
–Union Square
Nerd #1: Didn’t Ford’s body get shipped to Washington?
Nerd #2: No.
Nerd #1: Oh. Then I must have seen that on 24 or something.
–Union Square
Girl #1: Why do they have them?
Girl #2: Because pandas are so Asian!
–1st & 1st
Girl #1: So, what are you wearing to this stupid thing tonight?
Girl #2: Seriously? I already told you at least twice.
Girl #1: Yeah… What I meant was, ‘What should I wear tonight?’ but I didn’t want to sound self-centered.
–Forever 21, Union Square
Girl: I’m so pissed at him… I’m gonna wait until my herpes show up and have sex with him.
Friend: Yeah, good idea. Do it.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Rebecca
