Girl: What is all that screaming ahead?
Guy: Maybe they are doing a reenactment of September 11th.
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: A A F
Tourist woman: Where is the World Trade Center?
New Yorker guy: You missed it.
–Chambers and W. Broadway
Overheard by: tom brigham
Teen thug: You know, if you put’em on hot they dry faster. On hot the clothes dry faster.
–Kingsland Ave & Jackson Ave., Willamsburg
Overheard by: confabulation nation
Hipster on cell: She thinks the entire world revolves around her. What is she, the sun?
–Union Square
Would-be physicist: Did you ever hear of magnetic repulsion? Because I swear to god that door has an eastern pole or something.
–Walgreens Drugstore, Union Square
Overheard by: kbot
Guy: So, you’ve dissected cats before?
–Lafayette & Centre St
Overheard by: Janelle
Loud chick: So I was looking on the Internet to learn more about our planet and biodiversity and shit, and there’s like five more extinctions supposed to happen! You know, like the dinosaurs and shit!
–Ray’s Pizza, E Houston
Overheard by: just visiting!
Soccer mom: He has had some really hard social studies stuff… Like why the seasons change and the how the earth moves around the sun.
–Warren Fields, Murray & West Side Highway
Overheard by: Soccer Nanny
Chick to friend, standing silently for several minutes: You know, there really isn’t that much to see here.
–Ground Zero
Woman on cell: What about the Christmas cards with the twin towers surrounded by flowers? … Yeah. Kinda grim, huh?
–Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Karyn Regal
Wannabe-hardcore bimbette: So, this is where it all went down, huh? Where the shit hit the fan…
–PATH station, WTC
Overheard by: WesTexMike
Tourist man to MTA lady: I want to go to that World Trade Center thing.
–14th St station
Tourist: Is this nine-eleven?
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: duplicity
Dad to two little kids: Hurry. Hurry! Daddy just crapped himself!
–27th & 7th
Man on cell: Yeah, at that point it was just one stool sample too many…
–In front of Brooklyn Academy of Music
Overheard by: TMI
College dude to girlfriend in loud whisper: I took such a good shit today. [Girlfriend smiles and kisses him.]
–PATH station, 14th St
Overheard by: Abby
Girl: So I woke up the next morning, looked over, and there was a human shit a foot away from my head.
–Purity Diner, Park Slope
Guy: That Mary Poppins… she’s a spoonful of shit!
–Times Square
Suit in sunglasses: This entire platform smells like a hitherto unknown species of ass.
–D train platform, 34th St
Aging hipster on cell: At worst, you emit a general smell. If people notice it, I don’t think they associate it with you.
–Worth St & W Broadway
Loud woman: Yo, where you at? I can smell your breath, but I can’t see your face!
–Shoe store
Drunk chick in room of females: It smells like penis in here.
–Pi2 Lounge, W 12th & Surf Ave
Overheard by: Ioulia Fedorova
Teen on cell: Dude, they kicked me off campus! Because they said I smelled like I was high. I mean, I am a little high, but I don’t smell like it!
–Stuyvesant High
Fat man: Why didn’t anyone call Patty* and tell her that her breath stinks?
–Victory Hospital
Overheard by: Suquaia
Guy, smelling girl’s armpit: Man, that’s brutal! But I kinda like it…
–NYU
A chick pushing an old woman in a wheelchair says: Just let me know when you get tired of walking.
–59th & 3rd
Overheard by: Christopher
Queer: I can’t believe she said I was a liar. Sure I make random stuff up, but I’m not a liar.
–West 4th & broadway
Overheard by: MrRobinson
Hobo: All right fine, you win, I guess I do wish they were shitty pilots.
–6th Avenue & 9th Street
Girl to male friend: I mean, they were both lousy lovers, but when it came right down to it her vagina was just too wide.
–110th & Broadway
Ghetto teen: Yo, girl! Don’t be pickin’ at yo’ pussy like that in the street! You’ll be on YouTube tomorrow!
–South St Seaport
Overheard by: Big Larry
JAP: I don’t understand how a baby just fell out of her vagina and she didn’t feel anything!
–Outside Lafayette St dorm, NYU
Overheard by: Philouza
Girl on cell: I fully support the idea of a vagina factory.
–7th St & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Liam Cubbin
Bimbette: Tiff, do these make my vagina look furry?
–Dressing room, Macy’s
Overheard by: SarahM
Chick: My vagina seems so crooked today…
–23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Bruce
Girl on cell: No! He was seriously, like, drilling for oil or something. My vagina is not a source of fossil fuel!
–Central Park
Overheard by: But it’d be cool if it were
Old man to young woman with iPod and earbuds in hand: You could probably hear the music better if you put those in your ears.
Young woman: Shove it up your ass.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: KatieL
Fat old lady: Do you happen to know who wrong the song “Who Let the Dogs Out”?
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd Street
Old woman: What do you want me to talk about? You don’t want to hear about my dog. You don’t want to hear about my cat. What else is there to talk about?
–N train
Overheard by: Nim G
Blueblood woman: Yesterday I was in here and got 2 tomatoes and left them here. Have they been found?
–Bleecker Street grocery
Guy: Dead girls? Come on. I’m afraid of real girls. Dead girls are even scarier.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Carrie
Guy: …he’s still living that zombie-turtle lifestyle…
–14th between University & 5th
Overheard by: Joe Strike
Lady on cell: …so we were at this goth club and I moonwalked into someone…
–72nd & Columbus
Woman: I wouldn’t fit in this even if I was cremated.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: kathy duby
Man: If it wasn’t for his suicide, Terry and I would never have met.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Rick Segall
