Man: So Tommy’s the security guard there, and I’m in the back room sellin’ crack to him…
–34th Street Lowe’s
Man on cell: …but there are like a thousand kinds of Crest!
–Duane Reade, 23rd St. & 6th Ave.
Overheard by: Elizabeth Rand
Man: So Tommy’s the security guard there, and I’m in the back room sellin’ crack to him…
–34th Street Lowe’s
Man on cell: …but there are like a thousand kinds of Crest!
–Duane Reade, 23rd St. & 6th Ave.
Overheard by: Elizabeth Rand
Chick: So when he talks about Britain, does that mean England too?
–Fordham
Overheard by: e. glass
US woman (to UK guy): You speak another language, only with American words.
–49th & 6th
Overheard by: David Grote
Guy: I drink so much coffee, that if my girlfriend gives me a blowjob she can’t sleep all night afterwards.
–Wall St. Starbucks
Black chick: It smells like the bottom of a slave ship in here.
–Sapphire Lounge, LES
Girl on cell: …and it was right after he said that that I started doing double penetration, and I’ve never looked back.
–C train
Overheard by: Mickey Marx
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the B train. B like, like, like, um, brothel.
–B train
Overheard by: ed
Bible Thwacker: Have you considered turning back to Jesus?
Woman: Have you considered licking my clitoris?
–Times Square
A psychic was handing out flyers, and was rebuffed by one woman with: Hey, if you were psychic, you’d know I don’t believe in that shit.
–Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
B&T chick: What I really liked about this guy is that he could write his name in cocaine. And underline it.
–Grand Central food court
Overheard by: Nathan K. Claus
Guy: All I want is for my relatives to die in a certain order.
–University Ave, Bronx
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Girl: We’re outside now. Now I can entertain you.
–57th & Park
Overheard by: heather
Hobo: Hey Mr. Rockafella, can you help a blackafella?
— 7th Av & W. 11th
Overheard by: Gillian Glasser
Eurochick: I’ve got to dance tonight. I didn’t make any money here this week.
–Soho salon
Woman on cell: Where are you? I’m lost!…I don’t know! I’m uptown. I’m on a corner. I’m in front of a tall building.
–57th & Lex
Overheard by: Heather
B&T girl: These bra inserts I’m wearing are hard as rocks!
–Tao Asian Bistro, Midtown
Woman: Well, I trusted you before you put your dick in her.
–Tabla Bread Bar, Flatiron District
Homey #1: Yo, hold up…Jesus was a virgin?! He went from 12 to 33 with nothing?
Homey #2: Fuck that shit. He definitely got his dick sucked or buttfucked some bitches.
–L Train, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Brian McCaffrey
Thug: Damn! You can’t go nowhere now without seeing faggots. I saw two brothers holding hands on the train the other day. It’s like they were coming out of the closet on the train!
Thugette: There ain’t no closet on the train.
–L Train, 8th Avenue
