Black guy: Ah, shit, it’s starting to rain.
White passerby: Let’s make it rain on these niggas.
–Hudson & Spring
Overheard by: Jake Perlman-Garr
Black guy: Ah, shit, it’s starting to rain.
White passerby: Let’s make it rain on these niggas.
–Hudson & Spring
Overheard by: Jake Perlman-Garr
Black girl: Yo, white boy! Yo, white boy! [White guy ignores her, so she follows him.] White boy! Yo, white boy!
White guy: What?! How would you like it if I yelled, ‘Hey, black girl! Hey, black girl!’?
Black girl: No! It’s okay! I’m white — I went to Pratt.
–Bed-Stuy
Intellectual white guy: Happy Cinco de Mayo!
White hipster girl: Thanks! Did I mention I fucked a black guy last night?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: J Dizzle, attorney at large
Hobo: Yo! Where you girls from?
White teen girl: Your mom.
Hobo: Whoa, nigga, that’s crazy.
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Cface
White woman: How did I testify?
Lawyer: Not too bad.
White woman: Tell the truth — I was terrible.
Lawyer: No, it’s just that he put a lot of words in your mouth.
White woman: I know.
Lawyer: You have to develop an attitude like a black woman. When he says, ‘So, what you’re telling me is…,’ you have to say, ‘Don’t be puttin’ words in mah mouf! I said this. Don’t be twistin’ mah words to say I said that.’
White woman, dismayed: I’ll try.
–Hallway, Civil Court, 111 Centre St
Overheard by: Big Larry
Black girl: Okay, everybody, here’s where we learn to dance! Everybody repeat after me. To the left, to the right, to the left, to the right… [Passengers sway and laugh.]Sour WASP lady to adjacent white passenger: Is this what people are like when they’re on crack?
–3 train, 125th St
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Woman who endured rush hour: Wow, what a rush! That was just like Frogger!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Amy D M
Girl watching friend play Frogger: Oh, I remember how to play! You’re supposed to avoid the cars!
–Barcade, Williamsburg
Overheard by: champ
Dude: I’m telling you, I was put on this Earth just to play fuckin’ Tetris.
–W 13th St
Overheard by: Lauren L
Little Dominican boy to classmate: Why you had to tell on me, white boy, version-one-of-Donkey-Kong?!
–PS 8, Washington Heights
Overheard by: Mona
Law student: He’s a good professor, but he doesn’t have that Mortal Kombat instinct. You know — finish him!
–Sammy’s Noodle Shop, 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Blonde: So, where is she from?
Friend: Croatia.
Blonde: Where’s that?
Friend: It’s, like, by Italy.
Blonde: Ohhh, like Czechoslovakia.
Friend: No, Croatia. Near Bosnia and Serbia.
Blonde: Oh, so it’s like Russia.
Thug: Croatia, bitch! Former Yugoslavia! Remember, they had a civil war and broke up into five countries?
Blonde: [Stares blankly.]Thug: Jesus Christ, study a fuckin’ map. Even Tara Reid knows where it is.
–6 train
Black woman: Bitch, stop barking. I’ll beat your ass! Say ‘my mother’ one more time, I’ll come over there and beat your ass, cracker!
White woman: Who says ‘cracker’ anymore?
–4 train
White nerd in monotone: Look, just because I’m a motherfucking P-I-M-P does not give you the right to kiss up on my women.
Black guy: Fool, don’t be trippin’! You ain’t got but one woman, and she’s fat.
–45th & 9th
