Chick: I’m kinda concerned about this lotion I started using. It contains semen.
Dude: Ew… But so what?
Chick: Well, I think that it could make me pregnant. Like, the sperm could seep through my pores and then swim through my blood…
Dude: But your pores don’t have fallopian tubes…
Chick: But what if? I bet if I got pregnant, it would be, like, the devil’s baby.
Dude: Yeah, and you probably can’t abort the devil’s baby.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kate
Chick #1: I wonder why they call it TP-ing a house…
Chick #2: Maybe it stands for ‘toilet paper.’
Chick #1: That doesn’t make any sense!
–74th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kirby J
Black actress onstage: If anymore white people walk in here, we’re gonna become a suburb!
Suburban white girl in audience: I don’t get it.
–Showing of Hairspray
High school girl #1: We don’t always celebrities around, but I bet they see us all the time.
High school girl #2: Fo’ real, yo.
–50th & 10th
Blonde: Freaking-A, my prostate hurts! Does your prostate ever hurt?
Brunette: Um, girls don’t have prostates.
Blonde: Um, yeah we do, idiot.
Brunette: No, girls do not have prostates. Only guys do.
Blonde: You’re stupid — girls and guys have prostates. What do you think makes you poop?
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: girls have prostates? hm wierd.
Blonde: So, I told him for months that this was my weekend.
Brunette: Our weekend.
Blonde: Right, my weekend. So his parents are coming to help him move into his new apartment, and is it bad if I don’t help and I go to the Hamptons instead?
Brunette: No. Did he say anything to make you think that?
Blonde: No, I thought of it on my own.
Brunette: You look super tan.
Blonde: Thanks!
–Equinox gym
Woman #1: Look, they have cobras here! Are they real?
Woman #2: [Looks on silently.]Woman #1: Oh, they’re bronze.
–The Met
Bimbette #1: … And the pyramids! It’s like, you know, a total miracle! They’re huge! How did they build them without modern day cranes and stuff?
Bimbette #2: Yeah, I know, it’s… mystical! And the same thing with Eiffel Tower. I went to Paris last year, and that thing is just so high! Really, how did they manage to build something like that without equipment?!
–Museum of Natural History
Chick: Please, please, please get these for me.
Guy: [Laughs, shakes his head.]Chick: I promise I’ll give it to you 10 times today.
Guy: I don’t need you to. I get it every day.
Chick: No, you don’t! You haven’t gotten it in a month!
–Sneaker store, 82nd & Roosevelt
Overheard by: Liza
Redhead: I wish I was a pirate.
Brunette: No, you don’t. Pirates are dirty. They don’t have toothbrushes.
Redhead: Yeah… But they drink so much alcohol that it kills the bacteria in their mouths anyway.
Brunette: Really? Well, they still don’t have health insurance…
–FIT dorm
