Worker #1: What do you want?
Worker #2: Iced tea.
Worker #1, checking at Wendy’s: They don’t have iced tea. What do you want?
Worker #2: Mashed potatoes.
–Court St, Brooklyn
Worker #1: What do you want?
Worker #2: Iced tea.
Worker #1, checking at Wendy’s: They don’t have iced tea. What do you want?
Worker #2: Mashed potatoes.
–Court St, Brooklyn
Teen girl #1: So wait, what does ‘DUMBO’ stand for?
Teen girl #2: Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass.
Teen girl #1: Oooh, so then that area by the Brooklyn Bridge is ‘BUMBO,’ right?
–Grimaldi’s, DUMBO
Overheard by: michael Ciancio
Drunk guy: Can you wipe my ass for me?
Drunk girl: You’re a grown-ass man! Wipe your own ass!
–Outside bathroom in O’Conners Bar, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Next in line
Girl #1: Wow, did you know that you get, like, eight thousand dollars when you donate your eggs?
Girl #2: I am so doing that. I would buy a Fendi Spy Bag.
–Movie theater, Cobble Hill
Overheard by: Lia
Girl #1: Hey, Sarah*, it’s great to see you! Great, um, tunic! Are those stretch pants?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Oh! Because on you, they totally look like stretch pants! Rock on!
–Floyd bar, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: A White Bear
Woman: So, what you’re saying is, you want me to leave my calendar open so that you could possibly cancel on me?
Old lady: Yes.
–Annie Leibovitz exhibit, Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: d.s.
Jewish guy: Are you Jewish?
Hot blonde shiksa: No… But my hairdresser is!
–Brooklyn College campus
Overheard by: Mars
50-ish female lawyer at reunion party: Hi! Remember me?
50-ish male lawyer: [Long pause] Sure. 1981. Twelve dates, a carriage ride in Central Park, and I couldn’t even get a hand job from you. How’s your virginity?
–Brooklyn Law School
Overheard by: Big Larry
Father: Did you enjoy the movie, Angela?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah.
Father: Was there lots of action?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah.
Father: There are two things that make a good movie: action and sex.
–Montague & Clinton St, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Laura
Guy: On TV she looks just like Michael Jackson!
Chick: Who?
Guy: Oprah!
–Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: fshk
