Asian guy: I mean, I'm a nice guy, but I'ma fucking kill you.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: Tucker
Loud woman with arms in air: Happy New Year! Happy New Year!
Grumpy man: Fuckin' drunks!
Loud woman: I'm not drunk, I'm Canadian!
Canal Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Chick on cell phone: My roommate was rolling a lint roller all over her head for like ten minutes and finally I was like: “What the fuck are you doing? You’re gonna pull all your hair out!” … Haha yeah… She threatened to kill me if I asked her anymore questions… She probably watches me sleep.
UB Bus
Buffalo, New York
Drunk guy at bar: My life is an episode of Friends, only there's no girls, and everyone's Chandler.
Bar
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: Kristin
Old redneck to wife: I don't need no damn misogynist. I done tried that, and it didn't help.
Greenville, South Carolina
Blonde girl #1: It's like we've tried countless times to get her to stop, and she just calls us “anorexic whores” and tells us she'd rather be “doming up” guys.
Blonde girl #2, laughing: You need a ruin Smurf plan.
Blonde girl #1: But we've tried everything! It's like “get over yourself! You look like a 1980s cartoon character, with uneven boobs and a crazy tan!”
Toronto
Canadia
Little girl, running by: She's going to church, I have to stop her!
Lawrence Farms Orchards
New York
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Pretty girl to boy: How is bottle-feeding a baby hedgehog not on your to-do list?
Fairfield High School
Fairfield, Connecticut
Guy #1: Wow, you like them big.
Guy #2: No, I can do fingers. As long as it's a Chernobyl mate with, like, fifteen of them.
England
Overheard by: Noel