Guy: What’s in the steamed little juicy buns?
Four-fingered Chinese waitress: 10 minute longer.
–Ollie’s, 44th & Broadway
Guy: What’s in the steamed little juicy buns?
Four-fingered Chinese waitress: 10 minute longer.
–Ollie’s, 44th & Broadway
Guy #1: What’s a clamato? Isn’t that a type of tomato? Tastes like a tomato.
Guy #2: It’s a clam and a tomato.
Guy #1: No… Really?
Guy #3: Yeah. It’s a combination of two words… you know, like dumbass!
–Union Suare
Overheard by: Primo
Customer: I’m not really much of a meateater. What would you recommend?
Waiter: Another restaurant.
–Peter Luger Steakhouse, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Customer: Are both those tuna?
Deli guy: Yes.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Deli guy: This tuna is chicken.
–3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: Kimmy Yo
Tween to her mom: Oh look, it’s those shoes you can eat! Wait, can you eat them? Oh, no, these aren’t the edible ones.
–Payless, Upper West Side
Overheard by: embarrassed to have been in payless
Girl #1: I’m telling you, it’s impossible to see all of Milwaukee in four days. There’s just too much to do.
Girl #2: Well, can we go to Polka Days, at least?
Girl#1, angrily: How many times do I have to say this, we can’t do Polka Days and see all of Milwaukee all in one visit. That’s crazy.
Girl #2: I’m kinda nervous. Are we going to tell your mom we’re dating or just friends?
Girl #1: Yeah, we should totally go to Solly’s Grill on the Northside. They have the best burgers in the world. I’m so stoked.
–Chelsea Grill Hell’s Kitchen, 9th Ave
Girl: So did you guys end up having sex last night?
Guy: No, we had Chinese food.
–6 train
Overheard by: Talia
Little boy comes up to mom holding a candy bar.
Mom: God! What’s with you and candy? You already had two bars today and now you want two more? Why don’t you buy your own candy? Why do I always have to buy your candy? Get a job, for Christ’s sake!!
–Rite Aid, 110th and Broadway
Girl #1: This isn’t ice tea…
Girl #2: Right. There’s no ice in it. The difference between ice tea and tea is that ice tea is cold.
Girl #1: This is cold.
Girl #2: Then it’s ice tea.
Girl #1: But that’s not the difference.
Girl #2: That’s unsweetened ice tea.
Girl #1: Then it’s tea.
–Bay Terrace Shopping Center, Queens
Hawaiian shirt grocery dude: Gummy what?
Hipster: Bears.
Grocery dude: Um… Let me ask the manager.
–Trader Joe’s, 14th St
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
