Guy: I mean, why spend my money to put up bail when she’s just going to wind up doing time anyway?
–B train
Overheard by: Dianora
Chick on cell: The thing is, he doesn’t freeze meat. Yeah, it’s an issue.
–22nd & 8th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Guy: I mean, why spend my money to put up bail when she’s just going to wind up doing time anyway?
–B train
Overheard by: Dianora
Chick on cell: The thing is, he doesn’t freeze meat. Yeah, it’s an issue.
–22nd & 8th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Orthodox woman, holding bag of almond meal: What do you mean it’s not kosher?
Grocer person: Well, if it doesn’t have a kosher symbol I would assume that means that it isn’t kosher.
Woman: Does it have a kosher symbol?
Grocer, politely: You have the bag in your hand, miss. Does it have a kosher symbol?
Woman: No it doesn’t. Why do you not carry kosher almond meal? I have been buying this for years and now you tell me it’s not kosher.
Grocer: I can only guess that the reason we don’t carry it is that then people like you would shop here.
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: matthew andrew pryatel
Dude: I’d like to invite you to take part in my new venture. I call it Kebabes.
Chick: What is it?
Dude: It’s like a kebab joint but with sexy ladies.
–In line at Quo, 28th & 10th
Overheard by: Anisha & Meg
Headline by: Laura C
Runners-Up:
· But She’s Already Working at Falafellatio – Momolo
· Not for Humusexuals – ndsd1
Honorable Mentions:
· Well, It’s Better Than Kebabies – Matthew H
· Insert Skewer Joke Here….. – Tim White
· That’s Just Falawful – Chris Cunnyngham
· Turkish Delight! – Hobo Whisperer
· They’ve Got Great Hummus, Too – Anonymous
· Meat Marketing? – Xana
· I Knew I Looked Succulent Today… – Sarah
Woman #1: Want to come out with me and Brian tomorrow night?
Woman #2: No thanks. I have plans.
Woman #1: Well ok. I’ll see you. Have fun with those warm bananas.
–F train
Little boy to his mother: Mommy, remember the last time you made a mistake?
–Manhattan-bound A train
Boy with ice cream: Does the five-second rule apply to sidewalks?
–92nd & Madison
Little boy to duck: Uh, what the fuck, dude?
–Harlem Meer, Central Park
Overheard by: robin b
Junior high kid #1: Nigga you ghetto! That nigga’s mama fed him Spaghettios for breakfast!
Junior high kid #2: Nigga what you eat then, fool?
Junior high kid #1: Nigga my shit’s balanced — Pop Tarts and Odwalla, nigga, breakfast of champions!
–In front of White Castle, Metropolitan & Bushwick
Overheard by: OJ Phillips
Stoner #1: I dare you to snort this pixie stick.
Stoner #2: But I only have a five dollar bill.
Stoner #1: So, what’s the problem?
Stoner #2: Dude, you can’t snort with a five dollar bill. That’s just wrong. It has to be at least a twenty. God, have some dignity.
–Stuyvesant High School
Guy: What’s in the steamed little juicy buns?
Four-fingered Chinese waitress: 10 minute longer.
–Ollie’s, 44th & Broadway
Guy #1: What’s a clamato? Isn’t that a type of tomato? Tastes like a tomato.
Guy #2: It’s a clam and a tomato.
Guy #1: No… Really?
Guy #3: Yeah. It’s a combination of two words… you know, like dumbass!
–Union Suare
Overheard by: Primo
Customer: I’m not really much of a meateater. What would you recommend?
Waiter: Another restaurant.
–Peter Luger Steakhouse, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
