Guy: I massaged this girl today. She might as well have been a shar-pei.
–Restivo’s, 22nd and 7th
Overheard by: Steven Coombs
Guy: I massaged this girl today. She might as well have been a shar-pei.
–Restivo’s, 22nd and 7th
Overheard by: Steven Coombs
Dude #1: I’m gonna stand up as I turn. I’d like you to kick me in the nuts. The idea is to black out, end up in the hospital, and push this off on someone else. Ready?
Dude #2: I was born ready.
–59th & Park
Guy: You are a compelling argument against homosexuality. You are a very pretty girl.
–72nd St Station
Guy: Of course I’ve drank kerosene. But it wasn’t like I used a cup, though. I used a siphon.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Guy: Yeah, man, that’s true. But you have to keep in mind that while you’re emotionally emasculated, he’s physically emasculated, and there’s a helluva difference.
–Knitting Factory
Overheard by: Patrick Taylor
A guy and a girl are standing next to each other, waiting to cross the street. She’s wearing a winter jacket, scarf and hat.
Guy: You’re in trouble.
Girl: Why?
Guy: What the fuck are you going to do when it gets cold?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Anna Ryan
A guy is being filmed for Fox 5 News Live.
Guy: I wanna say hi to my mother-in-law and my girlfriend in the Bronx.
–Midtown
Overheard by: Danger
Guy #1: So you do live around here.
Guy #2: Nope.
Guy #1: So how do you know about Burritoville?
Guy #2: I’ve been around.
Guy #1: Oh, are you a cop?
–Taco Bell, East Village
Guy: …and they were like, it’s gonna cost sixty, but you get the this, and the that, and for sixty five, you can also get the other thing. I was like, “I’ll just have the chicken.”
–Port Authority
Boss of People: I don’t have to get to work before my guys anymore. Because there are no guys! They’re all laid off.
–Port Authority
Guy: I’ve been to Germany twice because I have a friend who’s from there. I went to Oktoberfest, but it was in June.
Hans: They had Oktoberfest in June? It must have been just for you…American tourists.
–25th St. & 3rd Ave.
