Metalhead #1, holding ice cream with fruit punch stain: Shit, am I bleeding?
Metalhead #2: Uhhh… No.
Metalhead #1: Then why is my ice cream red?
Metalhead #3: Dude, you're eating ice cream and drinking Hawaiian Punch.
–Irving Plaza
Overheard by: A metalhead
Bartender to 20-something man: What's your name? I'll start a tab.
20-something man: Oliver.
Old man at bar: Oliver Twist… People ever call you Oliver Twist? (laughs)
20-something man: Old people always do. Newer people don't.
–Pizzaria, 86th & 3rd
Overheard by: kat
Guy in limo: I love your city!
Guy on street: I love your city!
Guy in limo: I love your city!
Guy on street: I love your city, where you from?
Guy in limo: I'm Norwegian.
Guy on street: Norwegia!
–Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: Josh
Girl to guy with “free hugs” sign: Do you know Mary Jane?
“Free hugs” guy: Girl, you have come to the right delicious man!
–Union Square
Overheard by: ashevillian
Guy to girl: Yeah, the reason I never wanted to drive drunk in high school is cause I didn't want to scratch my car.
Girl: Well, that's shouldn't be the only reason!
Guy: Oh, for sure–but it was a pretty sweet ride.
–62nd St & Lexington
Young man #1: How much is this burger?
Young man #2: $25.
Young man #1: Okay. I would pay $25 for an aged burger, but not one cent more.
–DBGB Kitchen and Bar
Overheard by: Jakeycakes
Guy #1: Yeah, and then he broke my car.
Guy #2: I guess there had to be a break in the monotony.
Guy #1: Never speak again, Vince.
–Union Square
Overheard by: …
Girl to guy: By the way, I threw away your underwear. I hope you don't mind?
Guy: Nah, it's probably better.
–Williamsburg
Guy #1: Oh is that the girl you fucking?
Guy #2: No, that's my niece.
Guy #1: Oh, too bad.
–6 Train
Overheard by: MJ
Girl to roommate, after dog-sitting: I'm sad… I don't have anyone to stick their wet nose in my tushy.
–96th St & West End
Guy dressed as Santa: I just need my butt to evaporate.
–6th Ave & Waverly
Older black dude to another: She know I ain't go fuck with her, as big as her ass is.
–10th Ave & 28th St
Overheard by: julie
Frustrated tall boy: Does it look like I have an ass? No! It does not!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny Lawrence
