Fun at the Post Office

A young man apparently cuts the line at the PO.

Old Italian: Hey, there’s a line here buddy.
Young guy: I waited already, I got money orders.
Old Italian: I didn’t see you anywhere near the line.
Young guy: I got money orders before and now I’m mailing them.
Old Italian: We’ve all got orders. Geez, no one wants to wait on line any more. And now the guy’s serving him.
Young guy: Shut up.
Old Italian: Ah, get lost, you idiot. If I was five years younger I would put you up against the wall.
Postal Worker: Next.
Old Italian: How much to send this express mail?
Postal Worker: $13.65.
Old Italian: Maron.

–Bensonhurst

Posted on July 31, 2014
Brooklyn, Guys, Insults, Italians, Money & Class, Old People, Questions, Talking/Convos, Threats, Vendors & Street Performers

And What’s Her Number?

Guy: She does the hard stuff first. She leaves the fun and easy stuff for the end.

–Funayama, Greenwich Village

Posted on July 30, 2014
Guys, Rumor Has It, The Village

Overheard Advice

Guy #1: So I’m not sure what to do.
Guy #2: If you want to know something from somebody, get them drunk.

–8th Street N/R Station

Posted on July 29, 2014
Advice, Drinking & Drunk People, Guys, People, Places, Subway Stations, Topics

Malice Goes to Style Court

Guy: Who would you rather have sex with? The girl with the lazy eye or the fat chick?
Girl: Lazy eye.
Guy: Yeah, she’s got a good body.

—Style Court Audience

Overheard by: Tibbie X

Posted on July 28, 2014
Beauty, Body Parts, Buildings, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Friends, Girls, Guys, Questions, Sex

Not Literally, I Hope

Guy: We’re all stuck in a loop of bullshit.

–Odessa, Ave. A

Posted on July 25, 2014
Bars & Clubs, Compare/Contrast, Guys, Lies, One-liners

How to succeed and make lots of money

Young man comes up to the manager of a cafe in Brooklyn sitting next to me, inquires about the “help wanted” ad outside, and during the course of an impromptu job interview says, “I just wanted to tell you that for my emotional health I can’t work too hard, and especially I can’t move my wrists that much. So how hard would I work here?”