Guy: Touche.
Girl: Isn't that Japanese for “okay”?
–F Train
Guy: Touche.
Girl: Isn't that Japanese for “okay”?
–F Train
Guy in line: So basically I threw up too hard and popped a blood vessel.
Woman at counter: What the fuck? That is disgusting!
Guy in line: Well, you asked.
–Pratt Institute
Girl: So what are you going to be for Halloween?
Guy: Retarded Hitler.
Girl: Oy vey!
–Hunter College
Guy #1: With her foot!?
Guy #2: Could you have said that any louder?
–Tom's Diner
Overheard by: fedmex
Greasy guy on cell: Yeah, there was this whole big to-do. They had all these little midgets running around–it was a whole Willy Wonka thing going on.
–42nd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Aren't They Called Little People?
Midget on mobile: Man, you don't know how tough it is, these little women are tough, they know what they want… Yeah, yeah… The are like tigers, they'll eat you up!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: JT
Flyer guy: Comedy show, folks–we got midgets!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: BeccaGo
Guy: High-five if you like midgets and drugs!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Shannon
Suit on cell: Yeah, yeah, we're gonna do it big for my birthday. No I'm thinking more like midget strippers…eh, I haven't decided what I want it to be. (pause) Oh yeah, sorry, not "it," "him" or "her." No, I think dwarfs have magical powers, that's the deal. Not racist, dwarfist maybe.
–Chinatown Bus
Overheard by: Evan
Drunk guy with group of friends: I'm sorry I hit you, I thought I was Irish and you were four feet tall.
–41st & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Glad I'm not short
Preppy guy: They say beggars can't be choosers, which makes sense, because we're choosers.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Annie
Red Table change collector guy: Help feed the homeless of New York! All it takes is a penny and a heart, you fucking assholes.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Bemused
Girl to friend: I thought of you the other day; I saw a homeless man's penis.
–Lucky Jack's, Orchard St.
Overheard by: Argopelter
Horny dude (after being rejected by a girl at the bar): I asked her if she wanted a drink and she gave me the look that I give to homeless people on the subway.
–79th & Broadway
Guy to girl sitting at a sidewalk cafe: I know, what is with her? She dresses like a homeless person. And not Mary-Kate Olsen homeless but I-think-I-saw-her-passed-out-in-an-alleyway-with-a-heroin-needle-sticking-out-of-her-arm- homeless.
–10th St & 2nd Ave
Girl, to guy who has just spat on floor: Don't do that! Homeless people sleep there!
–6 Train Station
Guy #1: What is that?
Guy #2: Ice cream for pussies!
–St. Mark's
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Guy #1: Yeah, she looked like such a mess. Her ass was hanging out and everything. Man, if that was my daughter I would take her aside and say, “Listen. Cover yourself up. That's only for daddy.”
Guy #2: Hahaha, for sure. (pause) Wait. Say that again.
–54th St
Hipster guy: He's 65?
Hipster girl: I think so, yes, he's a photographer.
Hipster guy: I just don't understand what the attraction is.
Hipster girl: Well, it's not like I want to have some Hollywood romance, I just want to go over to his apartment and like eat a sandwich and play with his dog.
–Uptown A Train
Guy #1: Yeah, she's hot and a violent kisser, but her twin sister is so needy.
Guy #2: Needy how?
Guy #1: She's all like, “But we share everything!”
Guy #2: Fuck you, dude. Fuck you.
–W 10th & Hudson
