Girl #1: Dammit, they’re putting one of the wheelchair people on the bus!
Girl #2: Fuck, man…You know, they should just put a handle on the back of the bus.
Girl #1: Yeah, that could be fun for them!
–M12 bus
Girl #1: Dammit, they’re putting one of the wheelchair people on the bus!
Girl #2: Fuck, man…You know, they should just put a handle on the back of the bus.
Girl #1: Yeah, that could be fun for them!
–M12 bus
Friend: First you suspect he’s a date rapist, and now you’re worried he isn’t going to call?
–Union Square
Trendy woman: I need to be touched by a man in a loving way…It doesn’t even have to be loving.
—Pirates of the Caribbean 2 advance screening, the Ziegfield
Overheard by: Nick Draven
20-something girl on cell: I just wanna kiss someone!
–M15 bus
Girl: I’m going to make out with someone tonight. I’ve already decided.
–4th St, between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Ted
Well-dressed guy: You just hate that you can’t get a one-eyed, homeless black guy to think you’re hot.
–B train
Overheard by: Sugarnuts
Friend of patient: Has this woman been admitted yet? She’s been here since 6 o’clock.
Triage nurse: She’s not going to hear her name called sitting over here. She needs to be in the waiting room. They’ll call for her when they can take her.
Friend: She’s deaf.
Short pause.
Nurse: Well either way, she’s not going to hear it.
–New York Methodist Hospital, Park Slope
Overheard by: connor
Wife: Bill can’t fly because of the wheelchair. He can’t get out of it.
Husband: Surely there are planes with wheelchair access. We should ask for him.
Wife: Please, like he never asked himself? He just can’t fly, ever.
Husband: That’s not true. What do you think Teddy Roosevelt did when he wanted to go somewhere? He was in a wheelchair and he was the President so he had lots of places to go. Of course there had to be planes with wheelchair areas.
Wife: Oh, I never thought of him. You’re right. We should really tell Bill about that.
–JFK
Girl #1: …so he’d just sit in the back of the room jerking off and nobody could say anything because he was special.
Girl #2: Let me get this straight: he couldn’t control his motorized wheelchair but he could beat off?
Girl #1: Where there’s a will there’s a way.
–Tisch School of the Arts, Broadway & Waverly
Overheard by: D
Barista guy: You can’t bring that dog in here.
Dude: What kind of coffee do you have today?
Barista guy: I’m not telling you what kind of coffee we have until you get that dog out of here.
Dude: No really, what kind of coffee do you have today?
Barista guy: Is that a working dog?
Dude: Yeah…
Barista guy: Are you blind?
Dude: Yeah…
–Starbucks, 47th & 3rd
Overheard by: Cait
Two guys are waiting for the train inside the turnstyle when a group behind them start waving their hands and making weird noises.
Guy #1: People are so fucking crazy. I’m always around crazy people.
Guy #2: Uh…they’re deaf. And mute.
–Christopher Street station
