Hobo: If you see me pissin’ on your lawn, it’s my disease. I have mental illness. I just got out of psychiatric.
At this point he whipped it out and proceeded to water a tree.
–Washington Square Park
Hobo: If you see me pissin’ on your lawn, it’s my disease. I have mental illness. I just got out of psychiatric.
At this point he whipped it out and proceeded to water a tree.
–Washington Square Park
Impossibly old lady in wheelchair: That's too bad. I don't like to stroll; I like to have a destination.
Caregiver lady pushing wheelchair: Where would you like to go, then?
Impossibly old lady in wheelchair: Bed!
–Prospect Park
A blind woman and her dog are making their way into a Duane Reade through the “Out” door, with difficulty to keep the door open. Behind them is a WASP lady, waiting to get in.
Blind woman: Good, good, now make a hard left, to the counter, to the counter.
WASP lady: Idiots.
–74th & 3rd
MTA worker leading a blind man: You see where those turnstiles are? You’re going to make a left there.
Blind man: OF COURSE I CAN’T SEE WHERE THE TURNSTILES ARE!
–59th St 6 train platform
Overheard by: ahcnaej
Blonde #1: Her doctor's note literally says she cannot take the stairs. Like, her body physically can't do it.
Blonde #2: Well, then she needs to eat something!
–FIT Cafeteria
Big guy on phone: … All I’m sayin’ is that’s wrong, man — you hit an ol’ woman, and you’re a boxer!
–151st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Thin walls
Guy on cell: So, wait — you punched her or slapped her? In the face?! Oh. Ow… Yeah, that’s still not appropriate.
–N 6th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: j
Angry guy on cell: This guy laid a fucking warrant on me for beating up crackheads!
–168th & Fort Washington Ave
Overheard by: RR
Five-year-old girl to seven-year-old brother: I’ll punch your Adam’s apple straight down your throat!
–Graham Ave bus station
Black girl on rising escalator, to friend: If he says anything to me, I’m gonna kick him in the ding-ding and then run!
–Broadway East station
Overheard by: Subwaysurfer
Man: It's just frustrating walking behind really slow people.
Woman: He was handicapped!
Man: It's still frustrating.
–21st St & Park Ave
Counselor #1: I have to work with autistic kids.
Counselor #2: You mean you have to learn sign language?
Counselor #1: No… They can speak.
–Queens College
Very upset girl to no one in particular: But nobody would ever fuck my eyelashes!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Boy to another: He said he had to go and get a colon autopsy!
–84th & 3rd
Overheard by: Laura
Woman to husband: And I swear, she only has half an eye!
–Times Square
Older dude in sweater vest: It was considered the Rolls Royce of organs.
–111th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Middle aged man walking his dog at night: She had a shamrock on her face and a shamrock on her butt.
–West End & 77th St
Girl to another: Are you going to be upset if he has short arms?
–University Place
Guy to friend: Yes, Braille… It's for the deaf people.
–The Met
Overheard by: david
