There Are No Small Wednesdays– Only Small One-Liners.

Girl on cell, defiantly: Listen, I can keep my midget in your closet whenever I damn please!

–72nd & Columbus

Man handing out cards to random passers-by: They have midget strippers, buddy, and you can bring your guitar!

–42nd & 7th

Overheard by: Katy

Guy, to friend: You can't call yourself a grown man if you sit down and your feet dangle off the chair.

–Victoria's Secret

Overheard by: Emm

Black guy pushing cart: Man, I miss my two-headed midget friend… He was my best man.

–Union Square

Woman on cell: Have I been an angry little munchkin?

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: TheMac

Posted on August 12, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Friendship, Gay Man's Best Friend, Girls, Guys, Handicaps, Instruments, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Store, Strangers, Strippers, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Whole Foods, Women

Wednesday How Many Liners?

Cute guy to German flight attendant on layover: So, do you have cars in Germany?

–Barracuda

Overheard by: barkeeper

Girl: So, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian. Does that make me, like, bi-racial?

–Eugene Lang College

Overheard by: Still ashamed I go to school here

Hispanic high school girl: Is the Fourth of July always on a Friday?

–N Train

Overheard by: D-Law

Guy to friend: Well, that's nice, they have these machines set up for the visually impaired, but what about the deaf people?

–ATM, 38th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: jennyooooo

Student: Is Swedish even a language?

–Columbia University

Trucker: What are you, stupid, or both?

–M86 Crosstown Bus

Posted on July 17, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Bus, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Columbia, Columbia University, Conductors, Family Ties, Flight Attendants, Foreigners, Friends, Girls, Guys, Handicaps, Insults, Languages, Latinos, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Race, Religion, Students, Stupidity, Time, Wednesday One-Liners

I Think I Need to Sit Down

Suit #1: I once saw a midget with a mullet at the Kentucky Derby.
Suit #2: Wow.

–24th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: ty

Posted on July 5, 2015
Handicaps, Height, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Suits

Wednesday One-Liners Click “It’s Complicated”

Chick: It’s about your cyber personality, and if your cyber personality doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me on Facebook, that’s okay!

–NYU Hayden Staircase

Coed: I don’t know… if Sheryl* with the two kids by the two different baby-daddies can have a good MySpace, I think pretty much anyone should be able to do it.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: ImmaculatePizza

Hipster girl: It looks like MySpace exploded in there!

–The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St

Overheard by: Cassie

20-something girl: So, the quadriplegic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Facebook last night.

–Chipotle, 51st & 8th

Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, really.

–Near Holland Tunnel

Overheard by: Claire H.

Angry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not changing my Facebook status!

–6th & Ave A

Overheard by: Kremilyse

30-ish woman: I said I wouldn’t date him ’til he gets rid of the typos on his MySpace profile… Am I a snob?

–Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights

Overheard by: ball-and-veining tool

Posted on July 3, 2015
Baby Mama/Daddy, Bars & Clubs, Default, Facebook, Foreigners, Girls, Google, Handicaps, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Hunter, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Myspace, NYU, Philosophy, Preachers, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Students, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Washington Square Park, Weirdness, Women

“I mean, he’s not Christopher Reeve funny.”

Girl #1: I used to throw these really great parties and I invited this paraplegic guy who liked to do comedy routines. So he started his routine, and this fat lady runs up and starts grabbing his ass–
Girl #2: Was he funny?
Girl #1: Well, I don’t know, you know? He was just getting warmed up, and he kinda lost his flow when this woman started grabbing his ass and he couldn’t really stop her…I guess he was sort of funny.

–7th & Leroy

Posted on June 10, 2015
Arts & Letters, Ass, Assholes, Girls, Handicaps, Talking/Convos, The Village

Kinda Cool That It's Shaped Like a Question Mark, Though.

Pretty 20-something girl #1: No, he's not like mentally retarded, More like physically retarded.
Pretty 20-something girl #2: Oh, like my toe.
Pretty 20-something girl #1: Exactly.

–Wall Street

Posted on June 8, 2015
Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Handicaps, Retardation, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

I Just Attained Enlightenment Over Here

Old man: Let me ask you something. When you see a person in a wheelchair or on crutches, do you feel bad for them?
Teenage boy: Um… I guess, yeah.
Old man: You shouldn't, because they don't feel sorry for you.
Teenage boy: Oh. Thank you.

–Brooklyn Heights

Posted on May 30, 2015
Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Handicaps, Old People, Teens, Weirdness

And Naturally Combative.

Teen girl: Don't you like how my bracelet matches my shirt?
Boyfriend: Are you serious? They don't match.
Teen girl: Yes they do! What's wrong with you?
Boyfriend: I'm color blind.

–L Train

Posted on May 24, 2015
Boyfriends, Clothing, Colors, Handicaps, On the Subway, Teens

Does a Threesome With Twins Break the Wednesday One-Liner Taboo?

Suit to another: He was just lucky not to be fucking someone in his family!

–Trump Building

Overheard by: Guess I'm lucky too

Gamer on headset: Dude, you are not listening to me. You can't hear me. You know why? Because you have no ears. You're the product of two retarded cousins fucking each other.

–Queens

Girl: He looks like my uncle… the one I'm really attracted to.

–Governors Island ferry

Overheard by: boring

Male passerby: I wouldn't fuck my family, but…

–4th Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: Jessica

British professor wearing bow tie: It's fascinating just how exciting incest is!

–Silver Center, NYU

Posted on May 16, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brits, Compare/Contrast, Family Ties, Ferry, Girls, Handicaps, Incest, Men, Nerds, NYU, One-liners, Physical appearance, Queens, Questions, Retardation, Sex, Street, Suits, Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Handicaps