Hipster girl #1: Yeah, so he seemed like a really nice guy. I met him at Shaina’s party, we had an actual intellectual conversation, he may or may not have poisoned me…
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, but what if he did poison you? I mean, what then?
–3rd & 1st
Artsy 30-something #1: I remember this one photograph — this beautiful transsexual Latino in a clam like the Venus de Milo.
Artsy 30-something #2: Yes, I actually helped organize that picture.
Artsy 30-something #1: Oh, really? How was she?
Artsy 30-something #2: Beautiful. She lactated.
Artsy 30-something #1: Nice.
–Tea & Sympathy
Overheard by: No milk in my tea, thanks….
Headline by: bri b
Runners-Up:
· “HeShe’s a Lactina.” – Amanda Lee
· “Out of her penis.” – Kate
· “Wait until you see my menstrating Pieta” – Sean McGurr
· “We named it Penis de Milko” – Erez Schatz
Hipster: I’m telling you, Bill O’Reilly is a blubbering vagina.
Tourist: No, don’t say that!
Hipster: But you know he is!
Tourist: Stop!
–Union St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Alex
Hipster girl #1: Can you be emo with a big dick?
Hipster girl #2: No, I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure it has to be small for you to be emo.
Hipster girl #1: Sir! Excuse me, sir! Can I ask you a question? Can you be emo with a big dick or a small dick?
Passerby: Probably small.
Hipster girl #2: See?! I told you.
–Prince & Mercer
Overheard by: I guess I can’t be emo
Eager, straight-ish hipster dude to posse: We could ask gay guys which one of us they think is cuter…
Cute hipster friend: No, I always win that game.
–Pyramid, Ave A, between 6th & 7th St
Overheard by: Dan
Hipster chick #1: Oh, so how did your pregnancy test thing go?
Hipster chick #2: It went really well, actually.
Hipster chick #1: Oh, really?
Hipster chick #2: Yeah, my manager emailed me and said it was the best thing I’ve ever done, which totally made my day.
–Broadway & Astor Pl
Overheard by: trailing behind
Hipster girl pointing to old guy with balloons: Those are the kind of balloons that I’m not afraid of.
Hipster guy: What, Mylar ones?
Hipster girl: Yeah. I’m just afraid of regular balloons, but not water balloons, so I guess I’m just afraid of the air.
–F train
Overheard by: tip, tipper, tippest
Suit: So that’s odd — your friend is into gay, World War Two German Army porn.
Hipster: It’s actually not as weird as you think.
Suit: I see.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Jasper
Hipster to friend: Sometimes I feel like jumping into a bush, curling up into a ball, and punching everything.
Passerby: I dig that.
–Sheep’s Meadow
Overheard by: lenty
Hipster chick: So, it was pretty good, huh?
Queer: Oh my god. You don’t even know. He was so flexible that he could touch his ass to his head. Obviously, the sex was incredible.
Hipster chick: Cirque du so gay!
–60th & Park
Overheard by: Alex P.
