Hipster girl #1: He’s, like, gayer than gay. But that’s cool.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah.
Hipster girl #1: I mean, we want him to be gay.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah.
–F train
Overheard by: Jenny
Hipster girl #1: He’s, like, gayer than gay. But that’s cool.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah.
Hipster girl #1: I mean, we want him to be gay.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah.
–F train
Overheard by: Jenny
Hipster #1: I still can’t tell the difference. What’s the difference between the cool kids and the black kids?
Hipster #2: Duh. Black kids are black.
–McCarren Pool Party, Brooklyn
Overheard by: bill
Hipster guy: I am always so embittered.
Hipster girl: I know, and I hate it.
–13th & 2nd
Overheard by: Slammy
20‐something hipster boy #1: So, you ever think that the US will stop being the most powerful nation in the world?
20‐something hipster boy #2: Well, if not us, then who?
20‐something hipster boy #3: They say China will take over eventually.
20‐something hipster boy #2: China? What the hell are they gonna do, drop people on us?
–E Train
Overheard by: chinese girl who sat next to them
Hipster chick #1: You know the girl I was telling you about, who didn’t even know what “agnostic” means?
Hipster chick #2: Yeah. That stupid bitch!
–30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: reverie
Headline by: Coyoty
Runners‐Up:
· “Blessed Are the Stupid Bitches, for They Shall Infuriate the Self‐Righteous” — Cyrious Garnetski
· “I Believe That We Can Never Know If She Is a Stupid Bitch or Not.” — Hysterical Woman
· “I Hope She Burns In… Nothingness” — Meg
· “To Be Precise, She Said There Was No Way to Know What Agnostic Means” — Barry P.
· “Why Nuns Have Few Friends” — seven5suited
Hipster chick: I saw a picture of Susie’s* fiancé.
Queer: Oh?
Hipster chick: Yeah. His face is really long. And demonic.
Queer: It’s interesting how you put it in that order.
Hipster chick: Well, that’s the order you think of it when you see him. It’s like, ‘Gee, his face sure is long. I wonder why? Oh, I see, it’s to hold all that evil.’
–6 train
Overheard by: Charlie
Young hipster guy to hobo: I hate to ask, but do you mind if I bum a cigarette from you?
–Prince St
Overheard by: Kristen W.
Flight attendant on PA: We’d like to remind you that this is a non‐smoking service to London, but passengers are permitted to smoke outside the cabin at any point during the flight.
–British Airways Flight to Heathrow
Crazy man: Smoking leads directly to prostitution!
–66th & Broadway
Overheard by: voluptuousgrl
Dude: I’ve been smoking since I came out of my mom’s cooch.
–Hop Scotch Cafe
Woman with raspy voice: Man, cigarettes are so expensive now. When I started smoking, it was only a $1.25 a pack. Unless I bought them off my mom, she only charged 75 cents a pack.
–4 Train, Union Square
Overheard by: Christine
Mom to seven‐year‐old son: Come on, let’s go out for a cigarette. (looks around nervously at other audience members) Well, not that you smoke.
–Intermission, Rent
Hipster chick: So you’re saying don’t hate avocados?
Hipster guy: No, no. I don’t hate the avocados just for being avocados. I would never smash an avocado. I just want them to make up their minds. They need to decide.
Hipster chick: Good to know.
–San Loco, 2nd Ave
Girl on phone: This is so crazy because I was just watching Gossip Girl and I was like: “Oh my god, no one has dinner at Butter!” But then you just called me and invited me to dinner at Butter! It’s totally out of control.
–Barnard College
Man: The Tudors is like Law & Order for British actors. If you can’t get a job anywhere else, there’s always that.
–Cort Theater
Overheard by: office peon
Young man to friend: It’s called Tudor Place. Hey, you know that show on showtime, The Tudors? Maybe it’s that family and they moved over here. Because the buildings do look old.
–Bryant Park
Hipster: I watched Lost one time. I watched Lost one time! A big monsoon was coming and some dude closed a door on it. Closed a door on the monsoon! I was like: “Fuck this, I’m done.”
–Outside an Irish Pub, 54th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: jon
Soccer mom: Charles in Charge was a consistently good show.
–51st St & 8th Ave
Stoned hipster girl #1: Have you looked at your chest recently?
Stoned hipster girl #2: Have you looked at your tortilla? It looks like you smeared it with shit.
–93rd & Broadway
