Random chick: You guys waiting in line?
Freshman girl: Yeah, I’m getting my nose pierced.
Random chick: Oh, nice… My friend just got hers done. It’s not supposed to be that bad.
Freshman girl: Do you know if it gets in the way of blowing lines?
Random chick, taken aback: Uhhh… Well, I guess you always have another nostril…
–St. Mark’s
Overheard by: face
Drunk chick: C’mon, it’s only two a.m. It’s too early to go home.
Drunk dude: I got an audition tomorrow for The Dirt. Y’know, that movie about Motley Crue.
Drunk chick: If you go in drunk, they will think you are so rock and roll.
Drunk dude: Okay, what’s still open?
–E 7th & Ave B
Girl #1: So, he told me that I had the prettiest pussy he had ever seen.
Girl #2: Ew! What did you say?
Girl #1: I said, ‘Thank you.’ My mother told me to always take a compliment gracefully.
–Prince & Broadway
Gaggle of black girls shriek on street.
Hipster girl #1: Ew, what happened?
Hipster girl #2: Slavery was abolished.
–Houston & Orchard
Skank: So, being Mormon, you don’t have premarital sex right?
Mormon: Yeah, basically.
Skank: Oh…Nice talkin’ to ya.
Mormon’s friend: Wait! Come back!
–Libation, Ludlow & Rivington
Tween #1: You called me gay? I’ll sue you!
Tween #2: You’re gay for even saying that.
–Elizabeth & Mott
Overheard by: stephin’ out
Girl #1: You’re so hot!
Girl #2: [keeps grooving to music]Girl #1: I just want you to have a threesome with me, you bitch!
Girl #2: Sure!
–Houston & Essex
Girl #1: I mean, don’t tell him I told you that. You can’t tell him I said anything, or he will flip his shit.
Girl #2: It’s Vagina Night!
–Rivington & Orchard
Guy #1: So how are you liking law school?
Guy #2: It’s really satisfying.
Guy #1: Yeah?
Guy #2: Yeah, its like a bong hit of knowledge every day.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: Ashir
Burly man: …but that’s just me. I think it’s ridiculous for Chicago to ban foie gras when you can buy veal anywhere. How is veal any more cruel? But I admit, it’s just me. I’m a big foodie. I love the finer things in life. I just have to enjoy all the finest foods.
Dyke: But you just said you eat Taco Bell 4 times a week.
–DBA bar, 1st Ave between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: common people
