Five-year-old girl in a cart: Mama! Mama? Mama?!
Fat lady pushing her: Yo’ mama’s fat ass is right over there by the candies.
–Pathmark, Cherry St
Overheard by: Paula
Five-year-old girl in a cart: Mama! Mama? Mama?!
Fat lady pushing her: Yo’ mama’s fat ass is right over there by the candies.
–Pathmark, Cherry St
Overheard by: Paula
Druggie chick in stall #1: Yo, Keesha, does your door have a lock on it?
Druggie chick in stall #2: No, they took them off so we can’t blow coke in here anymore.
Druggie chick in stall #1: What?! That has to be illegal… I’m, like, totally open to rape right now!
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: Allison
Chick: I have social anxiety.
Dude: Social anxiety? You played Jenga with my neighbors!
–Christy & Delancey
Overheard by: Tourist
20-something guy #1: I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
20-something guy #2: Please. If you had been to prison I don’t think that you would have been the one doing the fucking.
20-something guy #1: I guess that’s true.
20-something chick: Fucking morons.
–Delancey & Orchard
Overheard by: Bang-Around Bob
Clerk: What about this one?
40-something woman looking at skin-tight, black leather mini dress: Hmmm… I like it, but do you have anything with a little less leather for church?
–Orchard St
Overheard by: what kind of church does she go to?
Trendy female customer: I like your Jesus necklace. Do you believe in Jesus the Almighty?
Sales dude: I do.
Trendy female customer: As you should.
–Marc Jacobs, Bleecker
Overheard by: Andrea Quijano
Patron: I’d like a grilled special.
Waiter: We don’t grill ’em.
Patron: Yes, you do. I had one last week.
Waiter: You got lucky.
–Katz’s Deli, Houston
Girl #1: So, when he was done I turned over and pressed my ‘that was easy button’ from Staples.
Girl #2: Oh my god.
Girl #1: Yeah, but now he won’t text me back.
–Orchard & Rivington
Overheard by: greer
Guy #1: Is this the place?
Guy #2: Yeah, man. Does the pope shit in the woods?
Guy #1: No, dude. He doesn’t.
–7th St & Ave A
Man: Oh my gosh, that’s so embarrassing. Am I wearing white underwear?
Woman: I didn’t know how to tell you.
Man: What, we can talk about cock sucking, but you can’t tell me I have a rip in my pants?
–Outside Prune restaurant, Lower East Side
