Yuppie lady: Excuse me! I’ve been calling for someone and waiting in aisle 2 for ten minutes, and no one came! This is ridiculous! You people are incompetent! You have things stacked so they fall! Look at my pants!
Black woman: …So why are you telling me?
Yuppie lady: Because you work here!
Black woman: No, lady…I don’t.
–Gristedes, West 64th Street
Overheard by: vegannramember
Chick: Yeah, our RA put up this poster listing these words we’re not
supposed to say because they’re offensive.
Guy: What can’t you say?
Chick: “Bitch”, “retarded”, “gay”, “fag”, “slut”, and “gypped”.
Guy: “Gypped”? Why “gypped”?
Chick: I dunno, it’s offensive to gypsies or something.
Guy: Do gypsies even go to NYU, let alone college?
Chick: Maybe she’s from Romania and shit.
–Hayden Hall Residence, Washington Square West
Overheard by: Glynnis O
Black man: Why’d you do that? Throwing that money at me. You’re stupid. Here, give it to me…You’re stupid. Why did you throw the money at me?
Cashier guy: I set it down! I didn’t throw it.
Black man: You’re stupid!
Manager guy: Why do you have to make it personal?
Black man: Mind your own business.
–Citgo, Long Island City
Guy: You know whose coochie smells? Don’t take this the wrong way: white girls. White girls’ coochie always smells nasty. Every white girl I been with, their coochie is stank.
Chick: You know why? It’s ’cause white girls live far from the ghetto, and they have a longass train ride to get to the ghetto, and by the time they get to your house in the ghetto, they sweating and waiting and their coochie stinks.
–40th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: cherie
Crazy dude: Daffy Duck is my favorite character, but Walt Disney was an anti-Semite and I’m a Jew. I used to watch cartoons but someone stole my television.
Dude #2: Daffy Duck stole your television?
Crazy dude: No. Daffy Duck is my best friend.
–F train
Overheard by: Gunner
Chick #1: So she’s in San Francisco and can’t decide if she likes it enough to move there, so she makes a list of pros and cons.
Chick #2: What are the cons?
Chick #1: Well, the first one is, “too many Asians”.
–Cafe Centosette, 2nd Avenue
Ghetto guy: I meant to say it like dat, dat’s my new ting, the Jamaican vibe.
Girl : Jamaicans don’t talk like that. Weirdo.
Ghetto guy: Yeah, they do. Hater. I tink usa hater, mon! Blocka, blocka, blocka.
Girl: I’m about to swing a block against your head. I know a lot of Jamaicans. They don’t talk like that.
Ghetto guy: I ain’t pickin at ’em. I just like how they talk. And the day you swing a block at my head, you betta know Jesus!
–Chan Library of Fine Arts, East 78th Street
Ghetto guy #1: You got a Hasidic for a boss? Ha, ha, ha.
Ghetto guy #2: Yeah, that guy is cheap.
Ghetto guy #1: Yo. They got all the dough. All the dough…Dude wear the same clothes every day!
Ghetto guy #2: Ha, ha, ha. Yo, that motherfucker is cheap.
Ghetto guy #1: Same clothes, man. You got the little boy shit, the teenager shit, then the man shit. Three sets of clothes for the entire life. They got all the dough.
–Verb, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jarrah TG
Teen girl #1: Do they card here?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, but they don’t card the Asians.
Teen girl #1: Isn’t that racist?
Teen girl #2: No, that’s like…affirmative action or something like that.
–M2M, East 11th Street
Overheard by: evan t
Guy: Did you see that woman? She looked at us like she’d never seen a black man before.
–NYU College of Dentistry elevator, East 24th Street
