Black girl: Oh my God, this train is crowded.
Japanese guy: In Tokyo, the trains are much more crowded than this!
Black girl: Why? ’cause they can fit so many more of you little guys on it?
–6 train
Overheard by: Carri
Black girl: Oh my God, this train is crowded.
Japanese guy: In Tokyo, the trains are much more crowded than this!
Black girl: Why? ’cause they can fit so many more of you little guys on it?
–6 train
Overheard by: Carri
Guy on cell: Why am I walking around the West Village? Because I was around straight people all day, that’s why.
–Jane Street & 8th Avenue
Girl on cell inside bathroom stall: I’m not Asian…and I never will be!
–Failte, 2nd Avenue between 29th & 30th
Overheard by: GSK
Latina on cell: Man, I’m Spanish and even I don’t understand Spanish reggae.
–Park Slope
Hipster girl: Is he gay, or just South African?
Hipster boy: Both.
–L train shuttle bus
Overheard by: Justin Sheckler
Crazy guy: They have millions of dollars! But they’re mongoloids! They have more money than New York City! But they’re mongoloids! Put it at the top of your list! They have more money than New York State! But they’re mongoloids!
–G train
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Short guy: You from Guyana?
Black chick: Yes, I am.
Short guy: Damn! I can always tell a Guyanese woman!
Black chick: Oh yeah? How?
Short guy: By your front teeth. You all have that funny gap thing going on. See? You got it too!
–3 train
Overheard by: Karen Seiger
White girl: Excuse me…excuse me…Can I please get the fuck by?
Hispanic guy: You don’t have to push, bitch!
White girl: Well, if you would stop with all that Mira! Mira! Mira! shit and stop looking and start listening maybe you wouldn’t get yelled at like a dumbass!
–A train, 125th Street station
Overheard by: Dixie Mae
A Russian lady mutters to herself: I want to be at the front of the line so I can pick my seat, I’m not sitting by some fat, smelly person.
She tries to cut to the front of the line, unsuccessfully.
Russian lady: I was here the whole time! I was standing right next to this lady!
This lady: No, she wasn’t.
Conductor: You better get to the back of the line, ma’am.
Russian lady: But I was here the whole time! Where’s your manager? I want to talk to the manager!
Conductor: Please step to the back of the line, you’ve gotta wait in line like everyone else.
Russian lady: I know what your problem is! I bet you don’t like white people!
Everyone else in line burst out laughing, and she was escorted away by security.
–Port Authority
Woman: Well, at least the Mexicans are friendly and they’re always working. Unlike those goddamn Russians! You know what I mean!
–Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
White guy: You know, on the Tokyo subways they have people who push passengers onto trains. Uh, have you ever been to Tokyo?
Asian guy: No.
White guy: Oh. Are you Japanese?
Asian guy: No.
White guy: Oh. Where you from?
Asian guy: Queens.
–N train
Overheard by: Rich
Stumbling drunk: Viva Mexico! Fuck all the niggers! I hate niggers! Viva Mexico!
–Union Square
Woman: …and did you hear him say that he brainwashed my husband when he was in Iraq?
–27th Street elevator
Old junkie: You red-headed nigga! I saw you on 2nd street! You had an office…in somone’s funky ass! And you’re from Europe!
–F train
Overheard by: Ali
Lady: If he could fuck like he makes quesadillas, I’d be a lucky woman.
–Astoria deli
Overheard by: Stuart Bridgett
Guy on cell: True Spanish girls wear heels in a blizzard!
–33rd Street & Park Avenue
Overheard by: Chris D.
Hobo (to Hispanic construction workers): Remember the Alamo!
–34th & Madison Avenue
