White girl: I’m sorry, I don’t have any money.
Black guy: I didn’t ask you for nuthin’, lady!
–57th & Lexington
White girl: I’m sorry, I don’t have any money.
Black guy: I didn’t ask you for nuthin’, lady!
–57th & Lexington
Queer: Did she know she was going to be naked for the photo shoot?
Anorexia: Yeah, I even told her in German.
–26th & 5th
Guy: I want to go to FIT so I can hook up with girls.
–27th & 7th
Girl: I mean, I got shat on at Harvard.
–9th Street & 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Kamran Javadizadeh
Woman: Is there a special event going on at Columbia this summer? Because I’ve seen a lot of Asians around.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Carrie
Hipster girl: I mean, I’ve got like, over 160 facebook friends. Does that not mean anything?
–56th & 6th
Overheard by: Joyce Shen
Sociology professor: No one knows what the hell Derrida is talking about, but we all pretend we do anyway.
–Columbia
Overheard by: djlindee
Old Italian lady #1: Your cat’s gonna get hit!
Asian Lady: Wha?
Old Italian lady #1: Your cat: it’s in the street! Someone’s gonna run over it!
Asian lady: Huh?
Old Italian lady #1: Your ca–
Old Italian lady #2: She doesn’t care about the cat. Those Orientals, they eat cats.
–Carroll Gardens bodega
Chinese woman #1: Her husband is so cheap!
Chinese woman #2: Yeah, well…
Chinese woman #1: Where do you find someone like that?
Chinese woman #2: He’s a Shanghai-nese.
Chinese woman #1: Oh…Well, you know how those people are.
Translated from the Chinese.
–7 train
Lady: Do you have a sushi menu?
Waiter: This is a Chinese restaurant.
Lady: …So no sushi?
–Suzie’s, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Joey
Guy #1: Oh man, you have to try this dessert I had the other night.
Guy #2: OK, what is it?
Guy #1: It’s this plum pie I had a la mode. Incredible.
Guy #2: That sounds like something European fags eat to stop diarrhea.
Guy #1: I said plum, not prune.
–Christopher & Hudson
Overheard by: Global Hipster
Black girl: Oh my God, this train is crowded.
Japanese guy: In Tokyo, the trains are much more crowded than this!
Black girl: Why? ’cause they can fit so many more of you little guys on it?
–6 train
Overheard by: Carri
Guy on cell: Why am I walking around the West Village? Because I was around straight people all day, that’s why.
–Jane Street & 8th Avenue
Girl on cell inside bathroom stall: I’m not Asian…and I never will be!
–Failte, 2nd Avenue between 29th & 30th
Overheard by: GSK
Latina on cell: Man, I’m Spanish and even I don’t understand Spanish reggae.
–Park Slope
Hipster girl: Is he gay, or just South African?
Hipster boy: Both.
–L train shuttle bus
Overheard by: Justin Sheckler
