White guy: Excuse me, sir?
Black guy: What’s up papi?
White guy: I’m trying to get to 14th Street.
Black guy: You’re in the South Bronx papi.
White guy: Holy shit! How do I get the fuck out of here?
The black guy laughs and walks away.
–149th & 3rd
White girl #1: Look at that Asian girl! She’s such a whore!
White girl #2: Dude, there’s this Asian girl in my psychology course, she’s a whore, too.
An Asian girl: Excuse me? Um, what is your problem? What, do you think all Asians are whores?
A very long pause.
White girl #1: Yes.
–Madison Square Garden
10-year-old white boy: He thinks all dark people are Osama Bin Laden.
10-year-old brown boy: That is a disgrace to me. I’m not even Hindu, yo.
–24th Ave & 29th St, Astoria
Overheard by: kelly
Girl #1: Yeah, so lately I’ve been really getting into African click songs.
Girl #2: Please don’t demonstrate.
–Grand Central Station, Dining Concourse
Young guy #1: So are you doing anything for Cinco de Mayo?
Young guy #2: Uh, I guess I’ll just go out like regular.
Young guy #1: Yeah, that’s cool.
Young guy #2: Actually, one of my friends knows a ton of Puerto Rican people, so that’ll be good.
Young guy #1: Um…yeah…
–6 train
Overheard by: Saltman
Italian #1: So my buddy Max was telling he how how he hooked up with this Puerto Rican chick the other night and it was…
Italian #2: And it was the best sex he ever had, right?
Italian #1: Man, you alway fuck up my stories by cutting in.
Italian #2: Fine, finish the story.
Italian #2: Fuck you, you already wrecked it!
–Union Square
Girl: I don’t look like an Eskimo, I have a tan.
Guy: I thought Eskimos were darker skinned.
Girl: [silence]
Guy: I thought Eskimos were darker. I think their skin is darker.
Girl: [silence]
Guy: I think they have darker skin.
Girl: [silence]
Guy: Anyway I think it’d be funny to see you in an igloo.
–2/3 train
Guy: [something in Spanish]… how do you say “altar boy”? You know, the ones whose little dicks the priest sucks?
–7th & Ave A
Overheard by: Jenny B
Guy to buddies: This chick was so ugly I wouldn’t want to cum on her face.
–Off the Wagon
Girl #1: Can I see your digital camera for a sec?
Girl #2: Not now.
Girl #1: Why not?
Girl #2: This is 125th Street. A little risky to be taking out expensive electronics.
Girl #1: Understood. I’ll ask again at 86th.
–4 train
Overheard by: sarah bitchards
