American woman: I heard this song the other day — the lyrics were great.
British man: Hm?
American woman: It was almost as good as that one song — you know, that one that goes, ‘Ain’t no call like a booty call, ’cause a booty call just don’t stop.’
British man: Uh-huh.
American woman: The lyrics are all, ‘Looove is my religion. I’ll take you to the temple tonight.’
British man: Wow… Let’s just try to make some more really shitty metaphors, why don’t we?
–Choga, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Alice
Guy with electric bass: This one’s real hard. Real hard. I’m gonna give whoever gets this one three dollars! Three dollars! [Sings] I can see clearly now the rain is gone…
Mother of three: Jimmy Cliff! Jimmy Cliff!
Guy with electric bass: Did you say ‘Jimmy Cliff’?! [Mumbling upon seeing her litter] Man, I wish she didn’t have so many babies… [Shouting to her again] You — you thought I said ‘rain.’ I said ‘train‘ — I can see clearly now the train is gone… I wrote that, not Jimmy.
–2 train
Overheard by: jil
Black kid #1, about “Benny and the Jets” on radio: Yo, Benny and the Jets, nigga!
Black kid #2, singing in tune: Benny and my balls!
–A train
Rocker girl: Why should I buy music on iTunes when everything I have on my iPod I’ve gotten for free on the Internet?
Rocker guy: The songs are only 99 cents, and you’d be helping out the musicians…
Rocker girl: But I am a musician – I’m helping myself out!
–Virgin Megastore
Overheard by: Gunnar
Man #1: Dude, Van Halen rocks!
Man #2: Um, that’s not Van Halen.
Man #1: What?!
–Men’s room, Jethro Tull concert
Overheard by: Mike N
Office drone #1: Yo, what ya got in there? That’s Mozart, right?
Office drone #2: No, man, it’s Beethoven! You got a problem with that?
–9 MetroTech Center
Overheard by: Cap’n MidNite
Drunk guy singing along to "If You Leave Me Now": Up your ass, up your ass!
–M2M, 11th & 3rd
Overheard by: Lillian
Over conductor’s mic, to tune of Soulja Boy’s "Crank Dat": Super suck my dick! Super suck my dick! Bitch!
–1 train, 96th St
Overheard by: Ruby
Bag lady, singing: If you’re happy and you know it, show your butt cheeks!
–23rd & 2nd
Man, singing: How sweet it is to be loved by… your monkey, monkey, monkey.
–A train, 207th St station
Overheard by: Cat
Man getting into car, clapping hands over head and singing: Woo! They’re gone! They’re gone! They’re gone for a-whiiile!
–JFK, Terminal 6 departures
Overheard by: wondering if it was his inlaws or his children
Five-year-old: Ella, ella, ella, ella, ella, ella…
Suit dad: Alright, look! I don’t know what that means, but if it’s a bad word I want you to stop saying it!
–F train, 23rd St
Overheard by: EmLo
Headline by: Lou P.
Runners-Up:
· “Don’t Fucking Sensor Me, Daddy” – burnt toast
· “Gwen Stefani, Age Five, No Doubt.” – kerm
· “I’m Going to Keep Saying My Name Until You Learn It, Daddy” – Kate
· “Stick to Words I Know, Like “Cock-fag” or “Yankees”” – Louis
Professor, as student’s phone rings in class: Wow, that was loud. What band is that by?
Student: Well, I don’t remember what the song is called, but it’s by Panic! at the Disco.
Professor: Hmmm… I once panicked at the disco…
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
