Boy #1: And I will milkshake all over your back.
Boy #2: And I will rub my lovely lady lumps all over your face.
–6 train
Overheard by: Alisha J.
Boy #1: And I will milkshake all over your back.
Boy #2: And I will rub my lovely lady lumps all over your face.
–6 train
Overheard by: Alisha J.
Three-year-old: Hey, hey, you, you, I don’t like your girlfriend!
–60th & 5th
Overheard by: Rich
Hobo singing to self: Pussy’s like a lickety split, but if you miss, you wind up in a world of shit.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Blind weelbo: Amaaazing grace, how sweet the sound… I once was blind aaand I still am…
–F train
Overheard by: Sara
Large thug, singing in falsetto: I will looove agaaain, even if it takes a lifetime to get ooover youuu…
–Milano Market, 113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Talentless busker, singing: All my loving, I will send to you… All my loving, darling, I’ll be true [tries to whistle instrumental break, and fails]. My lip! There’s something wrong with my lip!
–63rd & Lex Ave station
Overheard by: Aloof Loner
Tourist woman #1, staring up at glass elevators in atrium: Oh my god, look at that!
Tourist woman #2, gasping: Oh my god!
Tourist woman #3: Wow! Will you look at that!
Tourist woman #2: They got those lights on ’em! It’s like The Matrix or something!
Tourist woman #1: Where’s Martha*?
Tourist woman #2: I think she’s over looking out the window.
Tourist woman #1: Okay… I guess we should go get her. [All stare silently for a moment.]Tourist woman #3, reluctantly tearing her eyes away: Come on.
Tourist woman #1: Yeah, okay. Wow.
Tourist woman #2: Yeah.
–8th floor lounge, Marriott Marquis, Times Square
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Hedge fund wannabe #1 pointing to poster: Barry Manilow!
Hedge fund wannabe #2: So gay!
Hedge fund wannabe #1: He looks like what Rod Stewart would be if Rod were a woman…
–53rd St station
Overheard by: Dennis
Guy with curly black hair: I’m not Jewish!
Friend: Sure you are — you have Bob Dylan hair.
–Stuyvesant High
Overheard by: It Takes A Lot to Laugh, It Takes a Train to Stereotype
Teen boy: Mom, are you sure that woman isn’t the same as the one in Phantom of the Opera?
Mom: I’m sure. It’s a different actress.
Teen boy: Because it’s that same loud-ass style of singing.
Mom: Broadway singing.
Teen boy: Yeah. Really loud-ass singing. I wonder where the school is for that.
—Tarzan intermission, Richard Rogers Theatre
Overheard by: I wondered that myself
Suit #1: You want to hear something really embarrassing?
Suit #2: Okay, what?
Suit #1: I’ve been listening to the Grateful Dead a lot lately.
Suit #2: Dude, that’s not cool at all.
–Annie O’s
Overheard by: Nicole
Hobo, singing: If you want my body, and you think I’m sexy, baby won’t you tell me so?
Tourist woman: You go, girl!
Hobo: Yo! I’m a guy!
–R train
Girl: I still don’t understand the definition of emo.
Boy: It’s more emotional than other music.
Girl: Oh, please, everything is emotional. My face? Emotional.
–27th & 3rd
Overheard by: A. Pincus
Crackhead singing to another: You don’t bring me flowerrrs anymorrre.
–Starbucks, W 4th & Grove
Drunk guy crossing street: No touching, ladies… I’m saving myself for divorce. [Sings] Iii’m saving myself for divorrrce!
–36th & Broadway
Conductor: Next stop, New York, New York. [Singing] New York, New York, oh what a beautiful city — New York, New York! [Speaking normally] Penn Station is next, folks.
–NJ Transit
Man running down subway stairwell, singing: At least it’s snowing!
–79th & Broadway
Overheard by: it wasn’t snowing
Girl, singing: I love tweeeed!
–Century 21
Man on bus, singing: I want a vagina for Christmas.
–92nd & 3rd
Brunette, singing: You put the sushi in your coochie and you turn yourself around — that’s what it’s all about!
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ladle
