Man #1: Yo, I heard Osama may run for President in 2008. That’s crazy, man. If he comes out the cave, they will get him for sure.
Man #2: I think it’s Obama who may run — Senator Obama.
Man #1: Oh. I still think Osama would have a chance.
–E 4th St
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
American: Americans call the last letter in the alphabet ‘zee,’ but in Britain they call it ‘zed.’
Swede: Oh! That’s why Jay-Z is pronounced ‘Jay Zee’ and not ‘Jay Zed’!
–JFK
College guy #1: Did Dwayne go home this weekend?
College guy #2: Yeah. Like a bitch.
College guy #1: I think we should just call him Drew. Then nobody will know who he is.
–School of Visual Arts dorm
Fag hag: Who was that guy?
Queer: I dunno! I can’t remember the name of every guy I’ve slept with.
Fag hag: You never got the names of half the guys you’ve slept with.
–Circle in the Square Theatre School
Pratt girl: I didn’t know you could think with your name being ethnic and all.
Ethnic chick: Whaaa?
Future Picasso: Her name’s Jewish.
–Classon & Willoughby Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Glad I Didn’t Go To Art School
Woman #1: How does one spell ‘Shaniqua’?
Woman #2: I’m not sure there’s a standardized spelling…
–Midtown
Dude to another: You’re not so bad yourself. You look like Kevin Nealon on a good day. A good day!
–22nd & Broadway
Overheard by: I wish
Man: Ahmadinejad is not a baller.
–114th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Old Russian man to skate rat: Excuse me, what for are they talking about when they say, ‘J. Lo is meat curtains’?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Billy Splatts!
Goth girl: So, I’m like Jon Benet Ramsey, parenthetically speaking.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: meliss
Woman: … So then I rolled over, and it was Bill Murray on Rollerblades playing drums on my windowpane!
–Prince & Thompson
Overheard by: Emily
Girl: You went out with a girl named ‘Flower’?!
Boy: You have very big boobs.
–Brooklyn Public Library, Coney Island
Overheard by: breaking the library rules
Stoner: She’s so fucking hot because she’s Asian and she only goes by one name — Selena — so you know she’s hot. Like Madonna… Or Jesus… Or Gandhi… Or Cher.
Friend: Gandhi had two names, dumbass.
–NYU Weinstein Dining Hall
Man: So what do you think of the name I-lizabeth?
Woman: It’s not I-lizabeth, it’s ‘Ilizabeth.’
Man: I know. Elizabeth with an I. That’s so stupid.
Woman: What business is it of yours what they name their baby?
Man: I’m here and I’m aware of it, so I’m voicing my opinion. Spelling a name wrong is stupid. I guess they think it’s cute, but it’s gonna be a burden on that kid her whole life.
Woman: Why don’t you just shut up and keep your opinions to yourself?
Man: Well, then don’t invite me to these fucking parties where people make their stupidity public.
Woman: Just do me a favor — eat and keep your mouth shut until you leave.
–Baby-naming party, E 34th & 2nd
Overheard by: Big Larry
