I Am So Sick of Blowing Middle-Aged Poindexters

Sorority girl, crying: I’ve been working so hard, and I don’t feel like I’m being rewarded for it.
Professor: What? What do you mean?
Sorority girl, still crying: I mean, if I work so hard, I’ll just die if I don’t get an A.
Professor, irritated: Well, it’s only four weeks into the semester. Why are you worried about your grade now? I don’t guarantee any grades! [Professor leaves.]Sorority girl, to friend: Damn. I should have saved the tears until at least midterm. Now I’ll actually have to do the work. Damn.

University of Nevada, Las Vegas
Nevada

Posted on August 5, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Girls, Idiots, Lies, Nevada, Stupidity, Teachers

Mary Now Remembers Why They Stopped Dating

Girl, to guy who just got off a ski lift: Joe? Is that you? It's Mary. We used to date!
Guy: Oh, yeah, I thought you looked familiar from behind.

Ski Resort
Tahoe, Nevada

Posted on June 30, 2015
Assholes, Girls, Guys, Nevada, Relationships

You Fell in While Looking for a Missing Lamb

Boyfriend: Let’s get you all liquored up, and I can throw it in your butt.
Girlfriend: No! That’s not even how it happened the first time.

Trader Joe’s
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Jummy Bear

Posted on June 28, 2015
Backdoor, Couples, Nevada

Nobody Can Afford to Retire Anymore

13-year-old boy to parents: Shit, this place smells like old people and debauchery.
Mom: Now let's not judge the whores, Tommy.

Sahara Casino
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: djglucose

Posted on November 28, 2014
Advice, Age and ageing, Default, Guys, Kids, Moms, Nevada, Sex, Teens, Women

When Their Tongues Touched, They Produced Amy Winehouse.

Girl, after kissing boy: You taste like smoke.
Boy: You taste like testicles.

Las Vegas, Navada

Overheard by: ScaredTourist

Posted on November 25, 2014
Balls, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Girls, Guys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Nevada, Sensory experiences

Only Because Of All These Brown Splotches, Though.

Girl #1: He keeps calling me a slut whenever I see him, and I'm like “what the hell?”, you know?
Girl #2: You should say something back.
Girl #1: Yeah, but I don't know what.
Girl #2: Oh! Let me help you, I'm good with comebacks! You should say, “well, at least I… (long pause) …look like a cookie.”

High School Bathroom
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Meghan

Posted on November 18, 2014
Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Girls, Nevada, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

I Need to Wait for Him to Make the Down Payment

Lady to math tutor: I have to call home. I’m not about to take out a loan if he hasn’t used the bathroom yet.

University of Nevada, Las Vegas library
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: the stonefoxx

Posted on December 6, 2013
Colleges & Universities, Gripes, Nevada, Students

What Dudes Are the Frogs?

Teacher: So, who do you think tells us what to do in this country?
Boy: Jesus.
Teacher: No. Remember, in the Constitution there is a separation of church and state.
Girl: I know — the frogs. You know, those old-looking dudes, the frogs?
Boy: I liked Jesus better. At least he don’t look like no frog.
Teacher, shaking her head: Oh, my husband is gonna love tonight.

Mountain’s Edge Elementary School
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: I want to be a teacher

Posted on November 12, 2013
Education, Nevada, Students, Teachers

Who Has Access to All The Sex Manuals Ever Printed

Middle-aged woman to 20-something: I never knew there was that much variety in shape, size, color and girth. I’m talking about butt plugs. Oh, I’m sorry. You look shocked. I forgot — you’re just a librarian.

Wedding reception, Caesar’s Palace, 3570 Las Vegas Boulevard South
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on November 10, 2013
Jobs & Careers, Nevada, Strangers, Toys

The New Children's Book That's Sweeping the Nation

Young 20-some male to another: Any friend that tells you not to smoke crack isn't a friend.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Travis N.

Posted on June 11, 2011
Character, Drugs, Guys, Nevada, Philosophy