Speaking Of Things That Need to Stay in Vegas

Guy, telling everyone about a massage: You know how grandma's hands are real soft?

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Craig

A Rumor Which, Unfortunately, Will Stay in Vegas.

Guy in wife beater on phone: She said my dick was just too long.

Casino
Las Vegas, Nevada

Man in dressing room to employee waiting on him: Dude, I can see my ass hair. I'm a grown-ass man. Go find me some grown-ass man pants.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Guy to girl: This is gonna sound weird, but spread your legs!

Las Vegas, Nevada

Teen girl: Hey! This lip gloss matches my nipples! And my phone.

Galleria Mall
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Jo

Pregnant, tattooed hipster: This is killing me. How can I go without ink for nine months?
Tattooed hipster friend: Oh, I know.

Nevada

Older black man: You love sex! You do! Just admit it!
Young black guy: I won't admit it!
Older black guy: Yes you will! Yes you will!

Fremont Street
Las Vegas, Nevada

White mother to white toddler son: You're going to be black by the time we leave!

Grand Sierra Resort Pool
Reno, Nevada

20-ish girl: But he still gave me a ticket!
20-ish guy: That sucks.
20-ish girl: The cop said I was criminally fast.
20-ish guy: That sounds hot.

Mirage Secret Garden
Las Vegas, Nevada

Hot burner chick: Our bar was busy until the fat naked guy showed up and scared everyone off!
Fat naked guy: I'm wearing Uggs!

Burning Man
Nevada

Overheard by: Eavesdropper