Worldly hipster: Do you drink?
Very naive girl: No, tried it once, didn't like the taste.
Worldly hipster: Do you like tea?
Very naive girl: Yes.
Worldly hipster: Good, then you'll like beer.

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: The RJP

Son: Mom, can we get something?
Mom: No.
Son: Can we get some Life Savers?
Mom: No.
(son walks over with five Hershey bars)
Son: These?
Mother: No. And if I bought them, I'd eat them all in front of you.

Rocky River, Ohio

Overheard by: Beanah

Girl: Oh my god, I love their deep-fried mac and cheese balls!
Boy: I got some fried mac and cheese balls for you.
Girl: Tommy, if you tried to dip your balls in a deep fryer, they would probably fall off.
Boy: No they wouldn't.
Waiter, passing by quickly: Yes they would!

Cheesecake Factory
Kettering, Ohio

Woman browsing through dildos at a sex shop: Do you have any of these that plug in? I run through batteries too fast.

Toledo, Ohio

Overheard by: Cap

30-something black woman #1: The eye is superficial.
30-something black woman #2: Yeah, like 20-year-old white guys.

Community College
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Madison

Dumb brunette #1: Well, he likes Sarah and Matt…
Dumb brunette #2: They don't count, everyone likes them!
Dumb brunette #1: Well, my boyfriend doesn't like any of my friends, then. I don't really like any of my friends.
Smart, older blonde walking by: Well, dear, there's a simple solution to that.
Dumb brunette #1: Oh? What is it?

University Library, Kent State
Kent, Ohio

Guy to girl: You know, Mandy Moore made a bad decision going brunette. Now she looks like you, if you were a crack whore.

Oberlin College
Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: emily

Barista #1: Yeah, Joey does a great Tim Gunn impression. You should ask him to do it for you.
Barista #2: I will. So you really like Project Runway?
Barista #1: Oh my god, yes! Like, I should totally be on that show.
Barista #2: Yeah? Do you do fashion design?
Barista #1: Well, no. But I dress myself really well. And I have really good ideas. But I can't really sew or anything.

Fairborn, Ohio

Overheard by: Barista #3

Five-year-old boy, calling to mother in bathroom stall: Mom, we need to talk about something.
Mom: Can it wait?
Five-year-old boy: No.
Mom: What is it?
Five-year-old boy: I need more credit. You don't give me enough credit for the things I do, and my feathers are simply getting ruffled by this.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Laughing

Casanova: This is a replica of the helmet I wear when I fuck my wife.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: shadow