Teen girl to teen boy: But you can't play spin the bottle with a box of wine!

Giant Eagle
Parma, Ohio

Overheard by: Tmoore

Chick: I love going to the Jimmy Buffet concert, but every year someone throws up on my shoes.

In line at Kroger’s
Cincinnati, Ohio

Girl playing video game: Some girls just want to get married. I just want fire.

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Kelson

Mr. Hon, hanging on car door: Hon! Tell mom here exactly where that swingers' club is, that I took you to on your birthday.
(wife says something unintelligible as she walks down path towards car)
Mom, sitting in car: Oh! That's where I used to buy ice cream when I was a little kid!

Public Pond
Kettering, Ohio

Skateboarder in large banana suit: We put the ‘ass’ in ‘potassium’!

Ohio State University

Library worker #1: Do I have to lick it?
Library worker #2: … What?
Library worker #1: The envelope. Do I have to lick it?
Library worker #2: You could tape it, I guess…
Library worker #1: Great, because after last night, I am totally out of saliva.

Main Library, Kent State University
Kent, Ohio

Professor: The guillotine was humane. It was just humane many thousands of times.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: Secret Spy

Chick: So, what did you and Kev do last night?
Sorostitute: We got drunk and had sex.
Chick: You’re a walking fucking disease.
Sorostitute: What? How am I supposed to know what I want unless I drunkenly sleep with a bunch of people I don’t want?

Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio

Girl: Hey, Lamar!
Guy: Oh, hey!
Girl: How you been? You been sick?
Guy: Nah… healthy.
Girl: Oh… see ya!

Bowling Green State University
Bowling Green, Ohio

Overheard by: Alex

Teen gangsta wannabe yelling to small boy on playground: No, I wasn't, I don't smoke! He was just transferring the smoke to my mouth! (pause) Never mind! I'm not gay!

Cincinnati, Ohio