Chick #1: Dude, he’s totally got that Napoleon complex.
Chick #2: Nah, man, he’s just an asshole that happens to be short.
–F train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kryssy K.
Chick #1: Dude, he’s totally got that Napoleon complex.
Chick #2: Nah, man, he’s just an asshole that happens to be short.
–F train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kryssy K.
Teen girl #1: I’m so hungry. Can we got to Taco Bell before the show?
Teen girl #2: Ewww! Don’t go to Taco Bell! They have rats there!
Teen girl #1: Whatever! The rats are on the floor, not the food!
–Manhattan-bound L train
Blonde: So, where is she from?
Friend: Croatia.
Blonde: Where’s that?
Friend: It’s, like, by Italy.
Blonde: Ohhh, like Czechoslovakia.
Friend: No, Croatia. Near Bosnia and Serbia.
Blonde: Oh, so it’s like Russia.
Thug: Croatia, bitch! Former Yugoslavia! Remember, they had a civil war and broke up into five countries?
Blonde: [Stares blankly.]Thug: Jesus Christ, study a fuckin’ map. Even Tara Reid knows where it is.
–6 train
Hipster girl pointing to old guy with balloons: Those are the kind of balloons that I’m not afraid of.
Hipster guy: What, Mylar ones?
Hipster girl: Yeah. I’m just afraid of regular balloons, but not water balloons, so I guess I’m just afraid of the air.
–F train
Overheard by: tip, tipper, tippest
Girl #1: Thanks, I like being wished on. Well, not wished on, but wished for.
Girl #2: I was wished on in Mexico…
Girl #1, after long pause: Was it the same guy that gave you herpes?
–N train
Overheard by: i thought it was funny….
Puerto Rican girl: Yea, he’s Dominican and half black… But not really black, because he’s not loud or obnoxious and doesn’t dress like it.
Friend: So, he’s that good black?
Puerto Rican girl: Right. He’s not even really black at all!
–1 train
Overheard by: CG
Black woman: Bitch, stop barking. I’ll beat your ass! Say ‘my mother’ one more time, I’ll come over there and beat your ass, cracker!
White woman: Who says ‘cracker’ anymore?
–4 train
Drunk dude: Were you in the parade just now?
Old Irish guy: You bet.
Drunk dude: That’s awesome. It seemed even more fun than the gay pride parade. But that one always freaks me out because I never know which transvestites it’s okay for me to be attracted to.
–4 train
Overheard by: Dan
Willing guy: Let’s go stand over here…
Smoking hot girl: So, are you going to eat me on the hood of my car or what?!
–N train
Fat, drunk black chick: Fuck that shit! I gotta go, and I will pee on this train!
Sister: Stop. I’m not playing, sit down.
Fat, drunk black chick: Say I won’t, Teesha, say I won’t! I will piss on this train!
Sister: Stop, you’re bothering people. Just sit down. I swear to God, I swear I’ll get off.
Fat, drunk black chick: Then I will pee on the platform. Nah, nah, I’m gonna pee on this train! Say I won’t!
Sister: You’re bothering people.
Fat, drunk black chick: White people?! I don’t care about white people! You know what they did? Fuck them — they diseased our country. They brought us HIV! TB! All that shit! They need to go back on their boats! I will pee on this train! Then we’ll see who’s diseased!
–A train, between 145th & 34th
