Rich girl #1: So she got into a fight with her step mother last night.
Rich girl #2: But she can’t have a stepmother; her real mother isn’t dead yet!
–6 train
Overheard by: Adam
Rich girl #1: So she got into a fight with her step mother last night.
Rich girl #2: But she can’t have a stepmother; her real mother isn’t dead yet!
–6 train
Overheard by: Adam
Dude #1: How many pricks?
Dude #2: 15.
Dude #1: Nah…5? 4?
Dude #2: 5.
Dude #1: Okay, we’re agreed. 5 pricks on the train. Later, bro.
–6 train
Overheard by: T-Dub
Old woman: You know I love them Jews.
Guy: How do you know I’m a Jew?
Old woman: You took the seat like a Jew.
Guy: How does a Jew take a seat?
–1 train
Overheard by: Max Ravyn
Man on cell: Hey, I just got out of work and…wait…dude, are you having sex?…While I’m on the phone with you?…You…you’re having sex with Amy?…What would…you mean you think the fact that it’s Amy makes it all right to pick up the phone?…No! No! That makes it worse!
–2 train
Girl #1: Offer him a chip.
Girl #2: Okay. Would you like a chip?
Hobo: Young lady, are you teasing me?
–6 train
Hobo #1: Do you know what time is it?
Hobo #2: Yeah I know.
Hobo #1: Thanks.
–2 train
Overheard by: Andrew A
Woman with baby: So I’ve been takin’ these classes, and like they teach you how to draw blood from people and shit, but they have all these funny names for things. Like your skull, they call it the…um…
Woman without baby: Cranium?
Woman with baby: Yeah, the cranium. And they don’t call it “blood”, they call it…cells.
–F train
Overheard by: Miss N.
Old Jewess: That Suzanne Somers has some nerve. She is writing another diet book. I have a friend who has read all her diet books and every year she gets fatter and fatter.
–Music Box theatre, West 45th Street
Fratboy: She was like an ugly Paris Hilton, but not rich.
–C train
Overheard by: nicolette
Guy: I’m gonna beat you like an Olsen twin.
–68th & Columbus
Overheard by: Andrew Zar
Teen boy: Yo, I heard that Tupac was named after a Jewish holiday.
–Red Hook
Guy: Yeah, you know, that’s the great thing about the Kennedys: they get $1 off of every bottle of Scotch that they buy. You know, because their dad was a bootlegger and all.
–52 & Lexington
Hobo: What the fuck? Why’s the train so crowded? Used ta be between 9 and 5 the train’d be empty. Don’t anybody fucking have a job anymore?
–N train
Hobo: I had to go all over the goddamn world. Canarsie! Staten Island! Jersey City! Timbuktu!
–65th between 2nd & 3rd
Crazy hobo: I have closed my windows. I have pulled my curtains. I have put up my air conditioner…and now you will lock down block 340 like you will lock down every other block in the city of New York, the state of New York, the state of New Jersey, and to some extent Connecticut, but not all of Connecticut.
–4th Street & 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Squatporpoise
Drunk hobo: I have a lottery ticket. My father played the lottery every week. Must’ve had about a hundred fucking tickets. What if I find out I won and I’m on the subway? No one’s getting away. I’m taking down everyone’s number. We’re going to dinner. Your family too. No cousins.
–N train
Drunk hobo with megaphone: Don’t ride the trains! Those a-rabs are going to blow this thing up! It’s gonna be bloody! Those a-rabs and the black men from north Africa!
–A train
Old hobo: …and there’s a girl in the well. And he got a dog! You seen dat shit?
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: K-Na
Hobo: I ain’t got no money, but I got the honey, just for the women, not the men. And I ain’t no one minute man, ain’t no three minute man. I’m a one-hour man!
–4 train
Overheard by: eb
Girl #1: I just came came back for vacation.
Girl #2: Really? From where?
Girl #1: New Jersey.
Girl #2: What? That’s not a vacation, bitch.
—R train
