Little girl: I thought your mom wore really short skirts and see-through shirts.
Mother: No, that’s your other grandmother.
–F train
Little girl: I thought your mom wore really short skirts and see-through shirts.
Mother: No, that’s your other grandmother.
–F train
Guy: Plutarch was–
Girl: Plutarch can suck my cunt. He was stupid.
–1 train
Overheard by: Jesse Shaver
Woman: Where are we going?
Man: We’re going to Drunk City!
–1 train
Overheard by: steph m
Guy #1: Hey, what’s up?
Guy #2: Not much.
Guy #1: I heard you went to the hospital or something.
Guy #2: Yeah, I stopped breathing.
–F train
Dude #1: …This girl was so fucking hot. I went up to her and asked her if she wanted to dance. She said, “I don’t dance” and I said, “I don’t either.” But she was like, “Sorry, I really don’t dance. I’m not, like, rejecting you or anything.” So I went back towards the stage and kept dancing.
Dude #2: Okay.
Dude #1: Then, after the next song, I went up to her and asked her to dance again and she said no, but she kinda smiled at me like she thought it was cute.
Dude #2: So?
Dude #1: So, after the show, I hung around to try to talk to her.
Dude #2: What happened?
Dude #1: I don’t know. I got too drunk and forgot what she looked like.
Dude #2: You’re a fucking moron.
–6 train
Mom: I’d hate to drop dead of a heart attack, but I’d rather it be at Six Flags.
–W train
Tween thug #1: The Bible crazy…how you gonna contradict a book
that contradict itself?
Tween thug #2: You just gotta decide for yo’self which came first,
the people or the dinosaurs.
–R Train
Black guy: Clinton was the closest we ever had to a black president!
Black girl: Aw, shit! Clinton is my nigga!
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: FTrainIsFunTrain
Chinese boy: What street is this? Onion Street?
–N train, Union Street station
Conductor: Good news for riders going local. This train is not going express, as previously announced, but going local, like normal. If there’s such a thing as normal…Questions? Comments? Suggestions? See your conductor, located in the center of the train. Don’t just walk around confused. Ask me! I know! Usually…Just a reminder to turn those frowns upside-down. Smiling burns more calories!
Guy: Giving the finger to the conductor burns calories, too.
–R train
Overheard by: Dawn
