Wednesday One-Liners Wouldn’t Say They’re Missing Work

Manager to resigned employee: It’s okay. If I worked here I’d be looking for another job as well.

–Barnes & Noble, Park Slope

Guy pleading into cell: Give me a break! So I have sex with one fuckin’ coworker…

–Lafayette & Spring

Overheard by: Jeff in Soho

Late-40s guy: When you get to be my age it’s hard to make the big money, to become rich. Sure, I could get a job, but that’s not me.

–Bus, Port Authority

Overheard by: How long is this bus ride?

Suit: I mean, if I’m gonna fuck a fatty it’s going to be one I don’t have to see at work on Monday.

–6 train, Astor Place

Bike messenger: I could die at any time. That’s why my job is so great. I clock in for doom.

–37th & Broadway

Posted on February 7, 2007
All Wednesday One-Liners, Coworkers, On the Subway, Park Slope, Penn Station, Port Authority, Public Transportation, Sex & Relationships, Soho, Wednesday One-Liners

Similarly with Car 54

Teen girl #1: I didn’t know Where’s Waldo? could be considered a controversial book.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, because, like… some people can’t find him.

–Port Authority

Posted on December 29, 2006
Bimbettes, Books & Writing, Port Authority

Because You’re Home

Lady standing in line for bus: Excuse me? Can we board the bus now? It’s so dirty here…
Three New Yorkers at once: Fuck you, lady!
Guy passerby: I love New York.

–Port Authority

Posted on December 23, 2006
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Only in New York, Port Authority

It’s a Koan

Kid: I’ve never been to New York City before!
Mom: You live in New York City. This is Manhattan, but you live in New York City.
Kid: Well, I mean I’ve never been to New York City before.

–42nd & 8th Ave

Posted on November 26, 2006
Kids, Moms, NYC Geography, Port Authority

‘Cause Obviously She Knew Where That Bus Left From

Woman: Can you tell me where the bus to Rochester is?
Information guy: Gate 63.
Woman: Thank you.
Information guy, after she walks away: Yeah, she wants me to lick her dirty pussy.

–Port Authority Bus Station

Overheard by: Andrew Dill

Posted on November 13, 2006
Creepsters, Eating Out, Guys, Port Authority, Public Transportation, Questions, Vagina, Women

You’re Just Exchanging One Cage for Another

Woman #1: I couldn’t be a housewife. I need to get out of the house.
Woman #2: I get out… I go to Wal-Mart.

–Port Authority

Posted on September 28, 2006
Family Ties, Ladies Who Lunch, Parents, Port Authority

See, Because of You the Whole Class Got Punished

Woman #1: Yo! Hurry up in there!
Woman #2: Don’t you be tellin’ me to rush! I got my woman needs, too! I had to change my pads! Betcha didn’t wanna hear that, huh, didya? Didya?
Woman #3: No. We didn’t.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Alanna

Posted on September 24, 2006
Menstruation, People, Port Authority, Talking/Convos, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Can’t Decide Which Coldplay Lyric to Put in Their Profiles

Teen girl: Wow! I just realized I haven’t been online all day!

–34th & 6th

Overheard by: Different Generation

Middle-aged woman: 50% of the population is allergic to wheat. They just don’t know it. It’s true– I read it on the internet.

–Port Authority

Guy: You should start a fight with her on MySpace.

–75th & Amsterdam

Guy: I’m pretty sure my cat has Down’s syndrome…You can read about it on my MySpace blog.

–Spice, Chelsea

Overheard by: DJR

Thug: MySpace is like crack, yo. I’m addicted to that shit.

–F train

Overheard by: Laurence Lau

Girl: Google is, like, totally taking over the world!

–Terminal 4, JFK

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Girl on cell: We need, like, a slutty web-designer friend we can bring in on this.

–Harlem

Overheard by: Buttons

Scruffy dude: I should just bring her a bunch of photos of my ex-girlfriend and slam them down and be like, “Find one, just one of these, that you’re hotter than.” I can’t believe she wouldn’t give me her e-mail address. She must be out of her mind. I mean, just give me a fake one. Like, something at hotmail.com. Anything!

–54th & 10th

Overheard by: Waiting for The Colbert Report

Guy wearing t-shirt that says “You are so off my buddy list”: So I am thinking about creating another website that’s Jedi-friendly.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Palmala Handerson