Commuter chick: I had this crazy dream last night.
Friend: Yeah?
Commuter chick: Yeah, I was on a magic carpet ride.
Friend: Wow, how’d it feel?
Commuter chick: Like a rug.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: medic
Commuter chick: I had this crazy dream last night.
Friend: Yeah?
Commuter chick: Yeah, I was on a magic carpet ride.
Friend: Wow, how’d it feel?
Commuter chick: Like a rug.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: medic
Manager to resigned employee: It’s okay. If I worked here I’d be looking for another job as well.
–Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
Guy pleading into cell: Give me a break! So I have sex with one fuckin’ coworker…
–Lafayette & Spring
Overheard by: Jeff in Soho
Late-40s guy: When you get to be my age it’s hard to make the big money, to become rich. Sure, I could get a job, but that’s not me.
–Bus, Port Authority
Overheard by: How long is this bus ride?
Suit: I mean, if I’m gonna fuck a fatty it’s going to be one I don’t have to see at work on Monday.
–6 train, Astor Place
Bike messenger: I could die at any time. That’s why my job is so great. I clock in for doom.
–37th & Broadway
Teen girl #1: I didn’t know Where’s Waldo? could be considered a controversial book.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, because, like… some people can’t find him.
–Port Authority
Lady standing in line for bus: Excuse me? Can we board the bus now? It’s so dirty here…
Three New Yorkers at once: Fuck you, lady!
Guy passerby: I love New York.
–Port Authority
Kid: I’ve never been to New York City before!
Mom: You live in New York City. This is Manhattan, but you live in New York City.
Kid: Well, I mean I’ve never been to New York City before.
–42nd & 8th Ave
Woman: Can you tell me where the bus to Rochester is?
Information guy: Gate 63.
Woman: Thank you.
Information guy, after she walks away: Yeah, she wants me to lick her dirty pussy.
–Port Authority Bus Station
Overheard by: Andrew Dill
Woman #1: I couldn’t be a housewife. I need to get out of the house.
Woman #2: I get out… I go to Wal-Mart.
–Port Authority
Woman #1: Yo! Hurry up in there!
Woman #2: Don’t you be tellin’ me to rush! I got my woman needs, too! I had to change my pads! Betcha didn’t wanna hear that, huh, didya? Didya?
Woman #3: No. We didn’t.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Alanna
Teen girl: Wow! I just realized I haven’t been online all day!
–34th & 6th
Overheard by: Different Generation
Middle-aged woman: 50% of the population is allergic to wheat. They just don’t know it. It’s true– I read it on the internet.
–Port Authority
Guy: You should start a fight with her on MySpace.
–75th & Amsterdam
Guy: I’m pretty sure my cat has Down’s syndrome…You can read about it on my MySpace blog.
–Spice, Chelsea
Overheard by: DJR
Thug: MySpace is like crack, yo. I’m addicted to that shit.
–F train
Overheard by: Laurence Lau
Girl: Google is, like, totally taking over the world!
–Terminal 4, JFK
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Girl on cell: We need, like, a slutty web-designer friend we can bring in on this.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Buttons
Scruffy dude: I should just bring her a bunch of photos of my ex-girlfriend and slam them down and be like, “Find one, just one of these, that you’re hotter than.” I can’t believe she wouldn’t give me her e-mail address. She must be out of her mind. I mean, just give me a fake one. Like, something at hotmail.com. Anything!
–54th & 10th
Overheard by: Waiting for The Colbert Report
Guy wearing t-shirt that says “You are so off my buddy list”: So I am thinking about creating another website that’s Jedi-friendly.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Palmala Handerson
Quasi-thug #1: So if I got the first season, you would watch it with me?
Quasi-thug #2: Fuck yeah. It’s the fucking Golden Girls, yo.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: djlindee
