Chick on cell: It attacked me this morning. I attacked it this afternoon.
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Six‐year‐old boy on train platform to grown man eyeing him: Stop looking at me or I’m going to beat you up!
Overheard by: Turning away now.
Hipster on cell: Wait…so he hit you with the broom first, right?
–60th & Lex
Overheard by: Easy Does It
Shopper on her cell: If one of these little kids steps on my toes one more time I’m gonna pinch the motherfuckers.
–Ikea in Red Hook
Woman in bathroom: No, there’s no toilet paper. You wanna throw down?