Relationships

Columbia guy: So then Caroline* decided to take all of his valuables and hide them in the back room, to make it look like he’d been robbed. When he came home he, like, *freaked out* and called 911.
Columbia chick: That’s hilarious!

–114th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ein Ladle

Headline by: Mikey G.

Runners-Up:
· “And After He Killed Her, He Pretended to Do CPR!” – JesusFreak
· “And She Didn’t Check the Psycho Box on Match.com” – digruntled internet dater
· “He Didn’t Like His Anal Rape-Themed Surprise Birthday Party Either…” – Beartram
· “I Bet the “Just Kidding Your Place Wasn’t Robbed Sex” Was Awesome, Too.” – anonmouse
· “Turns Out There’s No Spot For “Masculinity” on Insurance Claim Forms” – Jamie

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Hobo #1: I love you.
Hobo #2: Get the fuck out of here.
Hobo #1: What?
Hobo #2: You are going to fuck with me and you are going to get yourself hurt. I mean it!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: bebe

Girl #1: I think true love is when you know someone isn’t perfect but you still think they are.
Girl #2: I thought love was when you could still feel butterflies in your heart even after he tells you he thinks he’s an elf.
Girl #1: I keep forgetting that actually happened.
Girl #2: Yeah, and not to you.
Girl #1: Yeah, I don’t know how I would have taken it.

–58th & 5th

Guy #1: You get married, so someone else can make your decision.
Guy #2: No, I got married so I can make someone else's decisions also!

–Broadway

Overheard by: Rina

Dorky bookstore guy: Teaching is like the biggest safety net of all.
Cute dorkette: You're my safety net!
Dorky bookstore guy, seeing her: Aw, you're my safety net.

–The Strand, Broadway & 12th St

Overheard by: Ian

Girl #1: Oh my god. My boyfriend just cheated on me.
Girl #2: Holy shit! Which one?

–Olive & Bette’s, W Broadway & Spring

Overheard by: striped shirt

Dude #1: Yeah, man. Not cool.
Dude #2: Dude, why do I always have to be fuckin’ the girl everyone hates?

–Macy’s

Overheard by: good question

Dude #1: So I’m totally fighting with Mark–
Dude #2: You mean physically fighting, or metaphysically fighting?
Dude #1: Metaphysically. But does it make a difference?
Dude #2: Well, dude, you can’t get punched in the face, metaphysically.

–West 3rd & Mercer

Overheard by: Dev Nille

Man: I'm not going to have this conversation with you!
Woman: Why not?
Man: Because that's just setting myself up for an open-ended ass kicking.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Blueshmoo