Teen #1: So this kid, Jason — every time we go to a party, he takes a bunch of beers and hides them around whoever’s house we’re at.
Teen #2: You mean, where nobody could find them?
Teen #1: Yeah — in a potted plant, an underwear drawer, the mailbox — anywhere that will ensure him a beer later on.
Teen #2: Christ, he’s like an alcoholic Easter Bunny.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: derwin
Barista: Okay, and a name for your cup?
Tourist: What?!
Barista: Name for your cup?
Tourist: Why would I want to name my cup?!
Barista: Just tell me your name.
Tourist: I shouldn’t have to tell you my name — what is your problem? [Turns to friend] My lord, New York is so weird…
–Starbucks, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
Airhead #1: Where is the tree?
Airhead #2: It’s not here!
–Next to the unlit Christmas tree, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Lalaith
Little boy: Look, Mommy, that man is dressed up as the UPS man for Halloween!
UPS man: No, this is my life.
–Rockefeller Center Concourse
Overheard by: Micaela
Girl: Would you still love me if I was fat?
Guy: Well, I don’t love you now. You being fat would probably make it so that I wouldn’t even hang out with you.
–Rockefeller Center train station
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
Suit #1: You did a helluva job in that meeting.
Suit #2: It gives me a hardon when you say that, John. It gives me a hardon.
–51st & 6th
Overheard by: chite
Woman on cell: Yeah, right! Like anyone’s gonna believe there are four SpongeBobs.
–Rockefeller Center
Girl: Yep. That’s a big ass tree all right.
Guy: Mm-hmm.
Girl: Yeah, okay, great, big ass tree. I’m freezing, can we go to Starbucks now?
–Rockefeller Center
Tourist woman #1: I’d like to speak to a nun.
Receptionist lady: The nuns don’t talk to the public. You can meet with a priest. He’ll be available in an hour. Is anything wrong?
Tourist woman #1: We were going up for communion and the minister asked my friend if she was Catholic.
Receptionist lady: Is she Catholic?
Tourist woman #2: I’m Methodist. We take communion too.
— St. Patrick’s Cathedral Rectory
Overheard by: Traveler Bill
