British man in funny hat: All we want is a way to make ourselves more comfortable…
Ruffled employee: I already told you — the organic laxatives are that way!
–Fairway Market
Overheard by: obviously chortling
British man in funny hat: All we want is a way to make ourselves more comfortable…
Ruffled employee: I already told you — the organic laxatives are that way!
–Fairway Market
Overheard by: obviously chortling
Guy: Do you think it’s… bad… that I think I’m going out… with him?
Gal friends, unconvincingly: No, no…
–H&M, Chelsea
Nine-year-old boy #1 looking at mannequin in sex shop: Batman! B
Nine-year-old boy #2: Batman — that’s so cool!
Nine-year-old boy #1: Bat-maaan! Bat-maaan!
–Orchard & Rivington
Overheard by: Amanda
Eight-year-old: But Dad, why are we in the bookstore if we’re not buying books?
Dad: Because Daddy likes quiet places.
Eight-year-old: That sounds gay.
Dad, looking nervous: Shut up!
–Borders
Overheard by: Eyeoftherabbit
Customer: Do you sell Lacoste here?
Sales associate: No, but they have a door right down on Spring Street.
Customer: How do I get there?
Sales associate: You go out our front door, make a right, and at the intersection make a left and the Lacoste store is right around the corner.
Customer: And they sell Lacoste there?
–Bloomingdales, Soho
Dude #1: Hey, how do you say ‘brains’ in German?
Dude #2: I don’t know. Why?
Dude #1: I need it for that movie I’m making — ‘Nazi Zombies.’
–Barnes & Noble, 8th & 6th
Old lady: Do you sell cigarettes?
Clerk, in disbelief: Lady, this is a health food store.
Old lady: Okayyy, but do you sell the healthy kind? You know, the organic kind?
–House of Health, 71st & Lex
Overheard by: Jillcorp
Customer: I’m looking for a kitchen table, some chairs, and a coffee table.
Sales guy: Wow, your place must be very big!
Customer: Not really. That’s about all that will fit.
–Surprise! Surprise! store, East Village
Hipster girl, about shoes: Cool, there’s a cow on the side.
Hipster boy: No, it’s a sheep.
Hipster girl: Oh.
Hipster boy: Well, whatever — it’s bovine.
–Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg
Overheard by: hipster shopper
Biotech #1: Look, there’s that creepy old librarian that used to work at the library at school!
Biotech #2: She was so gross! Every day I would go in to check out a book for a class and another one of her fingers would be missing!
Biotech #1: Yeah, that’s probably why she left.
–Kiehl’s, 3rd Ave
