Hardhat #1: Paddy, you’re Irish Catholic, right?
Hardhat #2: Yeah.
Passerby: Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene.
Hardhat #2: Shut you fuckin’ mouth! I will believe that crock of shit when you show me a marriage certificate.
–Broad St
Hardhat #1: Paddy, you’re Irish Catholic, right?
Hardhat #2: Yeah.
Passerby: Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene.
Hardhat #2: Shut you fuckin’ mouth! I will believe that crock of shit when you show me a marriage certificate.
–Broad St
Older woman: What’s the time, dear?
Teen girl: Two o’clock.
Old woman: Are you sure? It looks dark outside.
Teen girl, annoyed: Yes, I’m sure.
Man, overhearing: Actually, I think it’s seven P.M.
Teen girl: Oh, right. I forgot we set the clocks back this weekend.
–86th & Lex
Overheard by: Arun
Stuffy white lady pushing stroller, to friend: I can’t believe people are actually taking Justin Timberlake seriously these days.
Hipster crossing East: He brought sexy back, bitch! What the hell did you do?
–Central Park West
Overheard by: Zora Zero
Eager Scientologist girl: Do you want to take a stress test?
Man carrying large package, with three kids in tow: I’ll never pass that test.
–Subway, Atlantic Ave
Overheard by: Simon Feil
Guy is riding Vespa in bike lane, and girl opens her car door, nearly taking him out.
Girl: I’m sooo sorry about that.
Vespa guy: No, it’s my fault.
Girl: Well, fuck you, then.
–Chelsea
Bald white monk in orange robes: [Mumbling to himself.]Bimbette, to friend: I guess he’s, like, praying for a safe journey.
Bald white monk in orange robes: No, I’m on the phone [shows BlackBerry].
–Metro-North
Overheard by: jharris
Guy: Happy New Year’s, ladies!
Girl #1: Yeah, you too.
Guy: Your face is funny!
Girl #2: What? Fuck you!
Guy: I said, the face you made is funny!
Girl #2: Oh…
Guy: Butt-munch!
–Manhattan Ave, Greenpoint
Guy: Don’t you get embarrassed carrying a Discman?
Girl with Discman: I don’t get embarrassed… Except that one time I farted in high school. But it was only embarrassing because I sneezed and farted at the same time.
Guy: What?
–6 train
Ice cream man: Yo, man, can I get a cigarette?
Male student: Uh, sure. They’re cloves — is that okay?
Ice cream man: Yeah, man. Just need some air in my lungs [lights up in the ice cream truck]. Yo, you must love going here. You must wake up in the morning and be like, ‘Mmm, smells like…’ Hahaha
–Outside F.I.T.
Overheard by: Monochrome
Fortune teller: Excuse me, miss, where did you get your dress?
Pretty brunette: Don’t you know?
–Mulberry & Canal
