Young wanna-be-badass teen: I hate yuppies!
Man: I hate 14-year-olds!
Young wanna-be-badass teen: Me too!
Man: So, what, you're 13?
Young wanna-be-badass teen: Yeah.
Man: I was close.
–F Frain
Overheard by: ames
Young wanna-be-badass teen: I hate yuppies!
Man: I hate 14-year-olds!
Young wanna-be-badass teen: Me too!
Man: So, what, you're 13?
Young wanna-be-badass teen: Yeah.
Man: I was close.
–F Frain
Overheard by: ames
Guy #1, shouting to friend: Yo! Where have you been? We need to start!
Guy #2: No, man, I gotta go.
Guy #1: You're so gay.
Guy #2: I know. But that doesn't change anything. I have to get home.
Guy #1: Get back here! Now that you've admitted you're gay, you have to stay here so that we can all help you cope.
Guy #2: Sometimes I don't get you, dude.
–Stuyvesant High
Drive-thru customer: Can I have a medium fries and a medium Coke?
Counter girl: We don’t got a medium Coke.
Customer: Okay… Um… Can I have a large Coke?
Counter girl: We don’t got no large Coke either!
Customer: Ummm…
Counter girl: We got no small, medium or large Coke, and no small, medium or large Sprite!
Customer: Oh… You’re out of Coke. Okay… No drink, then.
Counter girl: I tol’ you, we out of Coke! What do you want to drink?
Customer: Ummm… Nothing?
Counter girl: We got nothing. Your total is $2.35. Drive around.
–Wendy’s, Rockaway
Overheard by: christine
Handsome suit: He can totally clean my gutters anytime. He’s got the whole package.
–Exiting Sheraton hotel, 7th Ave
Suit on cell: It’s when someone urinates on you…
–19th & 7th
Overheard by: Golden Slumbers
Suit: No one ever wants any of my gum. It’s not poisoned! I might put something in your drink at a bar, though.
–A train
Overheard by: emilyc
Suit to another: That’s because all you eat is fully-cooked, non-contaminated food. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it…
–24th & 6th
Overheard by: Angi
Suit holding sexual harassment pamphlet, to HR department: I have conquered sexual harassment!
–102nd St
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Girl #1: Okay, let’s go around the table and tell horrible hook-up stories.
Girl #2: Can anything top the time I woke up stark-naked in London after a night partying in New York?
Girl #3: No one can top that. Unless you consider the time I stole a guy’s car in the middle of the night so I wouldn’t have to do the walk of shame.
Girl #4: Don’t forget the part where you wrecked it and went to jail…
–Spice Market, 13th & 9th
Overheard by: Jess
Frumpy middle-aged woman #1: I don’t know… I guess some people just want to have a sugar daddy. I’ve thought about getting one.
Frumpy middle-aged woman #2: I guess they just like having kids say, ‘Wow, your mom is hot.’
Frumpy middle-aged woman #1: Meanwhile, the other moms are saying, ‘What a skank-bag!’
–M27 bus
Man: There are always two sides to every conversation.
Woman: Yes, but there’s always a right side and a wrong side.
–34th & 5th
Frat boy: Okay, guys, to recap: We’re not going to tell my parents about getting arrested, the Xanax, my nipples…
Other guys, in unison: Got it.
–Canal & Lafayette
Overheard by: klulita
Dude #1: They have been underestimating my power.
Dude #2: What?
Dude #1: They have been underestimating my power for quite some time now.
Dude #2: What are you, a supervillain? Who’s been underestimating your power? The justice league?
Dude #1: No, the electric company. They say I owe them eight hundred dollars.
Dude #2: Dude, you and I were having two totally different conversations.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: 13Atlantic
Girl #1: Yeah, she said, ‘I won’t settle for anything less than a Range Rover with Connecticut license plates.’
Girl #2: Oh my god, that is so amazing! I have to put that on my ‘Favorite quotes’ section in Facebook.
–Starbucks, 14th & 6th
