Guy #1: Hey, would you like a free cd?
Guy #2: Eh…
Guy #1: Do you like Led Zeppelin and Monty Python’s Flying Cir–
Guy #2: Oh hellll no.
–Williamsburg
Guy #1: Hey, would you like a free cd?
Guy #2: Eh…
Guy #1: Do you like Led Zeppelin and Monty Python’s Flying Cir–
Guy #2: Oh hellll no.
–Williamsburg
Pretty boy: Well, it’s good money, but I don’t want to do it too much, because I don’t want people to think I’m like them.
Unpretty boy: Who, the other male models?
Pretty boy: I am not a male model! I am an actor! I just do it for the money.
Unpretty boy: Sure, sure, it’s just a gig, man.
Pretty boy: I am not a male model!
–14th & 7th
Pretzel guy: Where are you from?
Man: I’m from here…I’m Jewish.
Pretzel guy: All Jewish people know where pretzels are from! What country do pretzels come from?
Man: I don’t know, where do pretzels come from?
Pretzel guy: All Jewish people know where pretzels come from! I had a Canadian guy last week, I told him, “If you can tell me where pretzels come from, this one is free!” He told me, and I gave him his money back! He was Jewish. Come on, where do pretzels come from? All Jewish people know this!
Daughter: We’re not observant.
–34th & 6th
Overheard by: elise
Mother: So Krusty couldn’t find his star in the Jewish Hall of Fame.
Boy: There was a Jewish Hall of Fame?
Mother: Yeah, and Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop were there.
Father: Lamb Chop was a Jewish lamb?
–Windsor Terrace
Hipster #1: Hey, how are you?
Hipster #2: Shh! Don’t talk to me now, I’m busy making love to my coffee.
–Houston & West Broadway
Overheard by: Lillian Goldstein
Middle-aged woman: Whatever happened to that guy you were in love with?
Young woman: We weren’t in love, just seriously in like.
Middle-aged woman: So, what happened to him?
Young woman: I had him deported.
–64th & Broadway
Black girl #1: Do you know what RSVP stands for?
Black girl #2: Respond as soon as possible?
Black girl #1: No, stupid it’s r.s.v.p.. It stands for repond s’il vous plait, it’s French.
Black girl #2: Spell it!
Black girl #1: R-e-s-p-o-n-d c-i v-u p-l-a-y. Don’t you know anything.
–4 train
Woman: Hi.
Cashier lady: Huh?
Lady: Hi.
Cashier lady: Oh.
The cashier finishes checking the lady out.
Lady: Thanks.
Cashier lady: Huh?
Lady: Never mind.
–Fine Fare, Clinton Street
Overheard by: Heather
Boyfriend: Fucking tourists!
Girlfriend: Seriously!
Boyfriend: Let’s go to J&R.
Girlfriend: It’s Saturday.
Boyfriend: Fucking Orthodox!
–Century 21, Cortlandt Street
Overheard by: Joe Baranello
Woman: Here’s something really funny. I was getting on the train, the 6, and the 2 friends I was supposed to meet were sitting there! Out of all the cars in the train. That was weird.
Man: I don’t believe in that, in coincidences.
Woman: You don’t?
Man: No, I believe that what happens is what was meant to happen.
Woman: Well, I hope “what is meant to happen” isn’t wasting its time
with me getting on the train.
–N train
