Teen boy #1: Yo man, I’m gonna join a gang!
Teen boy #2: Ah, ya? What gang?
Teen boy #1: Aladdin Kings.
Teen boy #3: What the fuck kinda Disney gang is that? Latin Kings, man! Latin Kings!
–A train
Teen boy #1: Yo man, I’m gonna join a gang!
Teen boy #2: Ah, ya? What gang?
Teen boy #1: Aladdin Kings.
Teen boy #3: What the fuck kinda Disney gang is that? Latin Kings, man! Latin Kings!
–A train
Technophobic lady: There was some crazy lady talking to herself in the bank.
Tech-Savvy lady: Are you sure? Did she have a Bluetooth?
Technophobic lady: I don’t think she had any teeth.
–54th & 10th
Man reading book: Oh, what stop is this?
Man exiting train: 96th Street. By the way, you really do have the most beautiful hands and fingers I’ve ever seen.
Man reading book: Oh, thanks.
–96th St station
There is a Buddha statue on the counter.
Teen girl #1: Wow, she has weird nipples.
Teen girl #2: I think it’s a guy.
Teen boy: That’s Gandhi. Duh.
–99 cent store, Hylan Boulevard
Overheard by: Stacey Simon
Guy: You kicked me like a pony in the neck! Now I’m going to be slow for my entire life. You kicked me in the cerebellum!
Chick: That’s not where your cerebellum is.
–Eugene O’Neill Theater
Overheard by: Nicole Thompson
Black guy #1: She’s beautiful. Somewhere between Faith Evans and Beyonce.
Black guy #2: Faith Evans? That don’t sound beautiful.
Black guy #1: Well you know, shape of the face is like Faith, and she’s got that hair and skin like Beyonce. But she’s really smaller than Faith. Her body is amazing. She’s Caribbean.
Black guy #2: Oh. Yes. Caribbean. They do good work.
Black guy #1: Mm-hmm. They do good work all right. Good work!
–Madison Square Park
Blonde: Fine, whatever, then I’ll just paint a picture of your family so we never need to fucking talk about this again.
Brunette: You just don’t get it!
–The Met
Queer #1: Okay, the question is, would you do Anderson Cooper?
Queer #2: I’d do him.
Queer #3: I’d do him too.
Queer #4: I wouldn’t do him.
Queer #5: I so wouldn’t do him.
Queer #6: I would do him.
Queer #1: I wouldn’t do him. Can anyone count? Was it a tie? Shit. Now what?
–Food Bar, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Laight
Student #1: Yo, what’s in Iceland?
Student #2: Nigga, what do you think? Ice, obviously!
Student #1: Don’t that mean Iceman lives there, then?
Student #2: Good question…
–High School for Environmental Studies, W 56th St
Clerk #1: Did you know that there are a whole bunch of copies of Atlas Shrugged in the Bestsellers section?
Clerk #2: Yeah.
Clerk #1: Is it okay if I pee on them?
–Info desk, Strand Bookstore
