Chick #1: … I don’t know…
Chick #2: Trust me — he wants it, but he’ll never ask. You do it by surprise, and he’ll, like, cum all over you.
Chick #1: It just seems nasty.
Chick #2: Yeah, it’s nasty — that’s why guys like it! And I guess it feels good. I mean, boy dogs lick their own, right?

–21st St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Manhattman

Chick on cell: What did you say?…What did you say?…What did you say?…What did you say?…I can’t believe you said that. Say it again!…I haven’t spoken to you in so long and I finally fuckin’ call and that’s what you have to say?…Well fuck you, you fuckin’ bitch!

–F train

Overheard by: Tamika J. 

Bitch: Oh hi! We were just speaking very poorly about you!

–Art Gallery, SoHo

Overheard by: Tibbie X

Teen boy #1: Yo man, I’m gonna join a gang!
Teen boy #2: Ah, ya? What gang?
Teen boy #1: Aladdin Kings.
Teen boy #3: What the fuck kinda Disney gang is that? Latin Kings, man! Latin Kings! 

–A train

Technophobic lady: There was some crazy lady talking to herself in the bank.
Tech‐Savvy lady: Are you sure? Did she have a Bluetooth?
Technophobic lady: I don’t think she had any teeth.

–54th & 10th

Man reading book: Oh, what stop is this?
Man exiting train: 96th Street. By the way, you really do have the most beautiful hands and fingers I’ve ever seen.
Man reading book: Oh, thanks.

–96th St station

There is a Buddha statue on the counter. 

Teen girl #1: Wow, she has weird nipples.
Teen girl #2: I think it’s a guy.
Teen boy: That’s Gandhi. Duh. 

–99 cent store, Hylan Boulevard

Overheard by: Stacey Simon

Guy: You kicked me like a pony in the neck! Now I’m going to be slow for my entire life. You kicked me in the cerebellum!
Chick: That’s not where your cerebellum is.

–Eugene O’Neill Theater

Overheard by: Nicole Thompson

Black guy #1: She’s beautiful. Somewhere between Faith Evans and Beyonce.
Black guy #2: Faith Evans? That don’t sound beautiful.
Black guy #1: Well you know, shape of the face is like Faith, and she’s got that hair and skin like Beyonce. But she’s really smaller than Faith. Her body is amazing. She’s Caribbean.
Black guy #2: Oh. Yes. Caribbean. They do good work.
Black guy #1: Mm‐hmm. They do good work all right. Good work! 

–Madison Square Park

Blonde: Fine, whatever, then I’ll just paint a picture of your family so we never need to fucking talk about this again.
Brunette: You just don’t get it!

–The Met