Tonight, on Sleaze & the City…

Flashy creepster to blonde: Look at me. (she doesn't) Look at me. (she doesn't) Look at me. (she does) You should be careful. It's a big city.
New-in-town blonde girl: After what I just went through I'm just going to have five boyfriends.
Flashy creepster: I'm telling you. You should be careful. It's a big city. Not everyone is good.
New-in-town blonde girl: I was having a good time, and then I fell and love and got burned.
Flashy creepster (menacing): I'm telling you. Not everyone is good.
New-in-town blonde girl: I'm just who I am. If you can't handle me…
Flashy creepster: Oh, I can handle you. I can handle you very well.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: jbrizzle

Posted on January 12, 2009
Creepsters, Girls, Love, Pick-up Lines, Relationships, Starbucks, Talking/Convos, Weirdness

Of Course!

Corporate girl: Dude, he's got a monkey.
Corporate guy: A monkey?
Corporate girl: Yeah.
Corporate guy: Like a real monkey? Or a monkey monkey?
Corporate girl: Like a real monkey.
Corporate guy: Does it bite his kids?

–52nd St & Ave of the Americas

Overheard by: what's a monkey-monkey?

Posted on November 7, 2008
Animals & Nature, Girls, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Talking/Convos, Violence

Is That a JCrew Polo You're Wearing, Mr. Yuppie-Hater?

Young wanna-be-badass teen: I hate yuppies!
Man: I hate 14-year-olds!
Young wanna-be-badass teen: Me too!
Man: So, what, you're 13?
Young wanna-be-badass teen: Yeah.
Man: I was close.

–F Frain

Overheard by: ames

Posted on November 2, 2008
Gripes, Men, On the Subway, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Teens

Stop Sending Me Self-Help Books and Cher Calendars

Guy #1, shouting to friend: Yo! Where have you been? We need to start!
Guy #2: No, man, I gotta go.
Guy #1: You're so gay.
Guy #2: I know. But that doesn't change anything. I have to get home.
Guy #1: Get back here! Now that you've admitted you're gay, you have to stay here so that we can all help you cope.
Guy #2: Sometimes I don't get you, dude.

–Stuyvesant High

Posted on October 27, 2008
Friends, Guys, Sexuality, Stupidity, Stuyvesant, Talking/Convos

For an Extra Quarter, I’ll Spit in Your Fries

Drive-thru customer: Can I have a medium fries and a medium Coke?
Counter girl: We don’t got a medium Coke.
Customer: Okay… Um… Can I have a large Coke?
Counter girl: We don’t got no large Coke either!
Customer: Ummm…
Counter girl: We got no small, medium or large Coke, and no small, medium or large Sprite!
Customer: Oh… You’re out of Coke. Okay… No drink, then.
Counter girl: I tol’ you, we out of Coke! What do you want to drink?
Customer: Ummm… Nothing?
Counter girl: We got nothing. Your total is $2.35. Drive around.

–Wendy’s, Rockaway

Overheard by: christine

Posted on March 4, 2008
Comebacks, Customers, Default, Junk Food & Fast Food, Restaurants & Cafes, Talking/Convos, Waiters

Suitable Wednesday One-Liners

Handsome suit: He can totally clean my gutters anytime. He’s got the whole package.

–Exiting Sheraton hotel, 7th Ave

Suit on cell: It’s when someone urinates on you…

–19th & 7th

Overheard by: Golden Slumbers

Suit: No one ever wants any of my gum. It’s not poisoned! I might put something in your drink at a bar, though.

–A train

Overheard by: emilyc

Suit to another: That’s because all you eat is fully-cooked, non-contaminated food. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it…

–24th & 6th

Overheard by: Angi

Suit holding sexual harassment pamphlet, to HR department: I have conquered sexual harassment!

–102nd St

Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.

Posted on February 13, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Suits, Talking/Convos, Wednesday One-Liners

They’ll Have Their Own Reality Series within a Week

Girl #1: Okay, let’s go around the table and tell horrible hook-up stories.
Girl #2: Can anything top the time I woke up stark-naked in London after a night partying in New York?
Girl #3: No one can top that. Unless you consider the time I stole a guy’s car in the middle of the night so I wouldn’t have to do the walk of shame.
Girl #4: Don’t forget the part where you wrecked it and went to jail…

–Spice Market, 13th & 9th

Overheard by: Jess

Posted on February 9, 2008
Girls, Store, Talking/Convos

From MILF to Skankbag: My New York Journey

Frumpy middle-aged woman #1: I don’t know… I guess some people just want to have a sugar daddy. I’ve thought about getting one.
Frumpy middle-aged woman #2: I guess they just like having kids say, ‘Wow, your mom is hot.’
Frumpy middle-aged woman #1: Meanwhile, the other moms are saying, ‘What a skank-bag!’

–M27 bus