Train Staffer #1: Did you do that terrorism training yet?
Train Staffer #2: No. I’m trying to avoid it.
Train Staffer #1: Yeah. I already missed the first one.
–PATH Train
Train Staffer #1: Did you do that terrorism training yet?
Train Staffer #2: No. I’m trying to avoid it.
Train Staffer #1: Yeah. I already missed the first one.
–PATH Train
Russian girl #1: Stop calling me that!
Russian girl #2: What’s wrong?
Russian girl #1: She keeps on calling me Natasha!
Russian girl #2: What’s wrong with that?
Russian girl #1: Because that’s not my name!
–B82 Bus
Guy #1: I talked to the redhead girl.
Guy #2: No, I said to talk to the red sweater girl.
Guy #1: Oh, I thought you said the redhead girl.
Guy #2: Well, what’d she say, anyway?
–The Dublin Harp, UWS
Overheard by: Travis York
Guy #1: I got a cough.
Guy #2: You got a cough?
Guy #1: Yeah, I got one.
Guy #2: I wonder if it’s the same one I got.
Guy #1: It’s a cough.
–LES
Overheard by: David Bowman
Nun #1: The lady who is the Statue of Liberty is Catholic.
Nun #2: Someone told me she was Muslim, but I think they were just trying to keep it safe from airplane attacks.
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Joseph Lo Cascio
Businessman #1: Hey man, guess what I just found out? Martin is a robot!
Businessman #2: I always thought so. At least he’s a good robot.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Customer: French toast bagel.
Cashier: Cream cheese?
Customer: French toast bagel.
Cashier: French toast bagel, yes, but did you have cream cheese on it?!
–Au Bon Pain, 44th & Madison
Hot girl #1: He was into weird shit.
Hot girl #2: Like what?
Hot girl #1: Well, nothing too crazy. Just unusual stuff. Like, he liked me to say degrading things to him as I was blowing him. If it wasn't sufficiently degrading he couldn't get off.
Hot girl #2: That is weird.
Hot girl #1: Yeah, and I mean, for one, I'm not really comfortable with that; and second, it's really hard to talk with a dick in your mouth.
Hot girl #2, seriously: Totally.
–Wine Bar, East Village
Overheard by: I've noticed this too.
White man selling stories: You wanna hear a story?
20-something white guy: What's it about?
White man selling stories: It's about a pirate, his parrot, and cyborgs.
20-something white guy: Okay.
White man selling stories: First, are you familiar with robots?
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: Human Being
Girl #1: Oh my god! What happened to your face?!
Girl #2, with black eye: I got pimp-slapped.
Girl #1: What does that mean?
Girl #2: You know, like when a ho gets out of line, her pimp backhands her. You know, like “bitch, where's my money?!” (pauses) Smack!
Girl #1: What? You were slapped by a pimp?
Girl #2, annoyed: No! Ugghh, Derek* hit me!
Girl #1: I don't get it, I thought he was a lawyer.
Girl #2: You are such a fucking idiot… You're buying me lunch.
–Chelsea
