Blinged-out teen #1: You know, I heard for every ten pounds you lose, you gain an inch on your dick.
Blinged-out teen #2: Damn! Imagine if Ricky lost weight!
–1 train
Blinged-out teen #1: You know, I heard for every ten pounds you lose, you gain an inch on your dick.
Blinged-out teen #2: Damn! Imagine if Ricky lost weight!
–1 train
Drunk teen: Kill me, please.
Sober teen: No, you have the SATs next month.
–Stuyvesant High
Teen girl #1: I mean, anything is possible.
Teen boy: So, you mean I could punch somebody’s head off?
Teen girl #2: I don’t think so.
Teen girl #3: Hey, I’m sure it is possible.
Teen girl #1: Yeah, like, you could punch a baby’s head off!
Teen boy: I’m not talking about babies.
Teen girl #1: Well, I’m sure you could!
Teen girl #3: Yeah! Totally! ‘Cause, like, their heads are so big and their bodies are so small… It’d just be like: Boom! And they don’t have a head!
–Gloria Jeans, Staten Island Mall
Teen #1: So, apparently the average human vagina is only 4 inches deep.
Teen #2: No fucking way, dude.
Teen #1: Yeah, so I guess having a huge dick isn’t very helpful in that case.
Teen #2: You hear that? Your eight inches are useless!
Teen #3: Excuse me for having a bigger dick than you.
–F train
Overheard by: mystery man
Teen girl #1: You didn’t I know I went out with Hector?
Teen girl #2: Nah.
Teen girl #3: Hector went out with everyone. He kissed all the girls. We called him ‘The Rapist,’ or ‘R. Kelly.’
–Q88 bus
Overheard by: Me
Hobo: Can I have some?
Teen eating apple: No.
Hobo: Thank you.
Teen: … Ow, my conscience.
–6 train station
Overheard by: Annie
Black teen #1: Yo, let’s go see Blood Diamond.
Black teen #2, with African accent: No, I told you — I don’t want to see that.
Black teen #1: What are you talkin’ ’bout, don’t wanna see it? Nigga, you’re in it!
–Loews, Lincoln Center
Teen girl #1: I hate these tourists! They’re fucking everywhere!
Teen girl #2, in next stall over: I know!
Teen girl #1: It’s like, ‘Don’t you have the Gap in, like, Kansas or something?’
–Gap dressing room, Times Square
Teen #1: My shits change color. They be green, then they dark brown…
Teen #2: Green? Nah…
Teen #3: My shits be green.
Teen #4: Yeah, I seen his shits be green.
Teen #1: Look! Look right now. My eyes be green.
Teen #4: That nigga wear contacts.
–A train
Overheard by: TMI
Teen girl #1: I don’t think people understand the gravity of the situation. Nobody seems excited. We’re in an actual Springfield Kwik-E-Mart!
Teen girl #2: I know. When I tell my grandkids I went to a Kwik-E-Mart [trails off]…
–7-Eleven/Kwik-E-Mart near Times Square
