Teen girl #1: Is Mr. Parker* here today?
Teen girl #2: No, I think he was deported on Friday.
–Midwood High School, Brooklyn
Teen girl #1: Is Mr. Parker* here today?
Teen girl #2: No, I think he was deported on Friday.
–Midwood High School, Brooklyn
Teen boy #1: ….So yeah, I was like, “fuck those sheeps, man!”
Teen boy #2: Wait, did you really say that?
Teen boy #1: Nah, I said “sheep.” “Sheeps” isn’t a real word.
–outside the Met
Tall Asian teen: That was really funny.
Shorter white teen: Yeah, I’m sorry I keep calling you a fucking Asian.
–Coming out of Avenue Q, 45th & Broadway
Teen on cell: So how do I get to your office? Wait, which way is east? Towards the river? What river? I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF TIMES SQUARE, I DON’T SEE A FUCKIN RIVER! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ASK SOMEONE WHERE THE FUCKING RIVER IS? MANHATTAN’S AN ISLAND, THERE’S RIVER ALL OVER THE PLACE!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Queer to his friend after hearing raucous cheering coming out of a bar: Straight people are tiresome, yet amusing at the same time.
–46th & 9th
Teen girl smelling a candle: Smells like lesbian.
–5 train
Overheard by: Nolan’s Lover
Ghetto high school girl #1: Gimme the camera!
Ghetto high school girl #2: Noooo! I need to take a picture for myspace. You know what that means!
Ghetto high school girl #1: What?
Ghetto high school girl #2: I gotta look cute! But it has to look normal, like I’m not posing.
Ghetto high school girl #1 grabs the camera and whacks girl #2 on the head. She snaps a photo.
Ghetto high school girl #2: What the fuck bitch!?
Ghetto high school girl #1: [looking at the camera] Oh my god! It’s such a cuuuuuuuuuute picture!
Ghetto high school girl #2: Oh my god! I’m sooooo cute.
–Starbucks, 17th & Union Square W
Teen: What’s the big difference between this and the Holocaust Museum?
–Darwin Exhibit, Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Doug Gordon
Guy: And he just kept talking about masturbating in the Guggenheim.
–2nd Ave, between 4th & 5th
Overheard by: Bradford
MoMA security guard: No, we just have modern art here.
–MoMA
Overheard by: -=Ed.
Teen girl: Hey, I’m a Scientologist.
Tom Cruise: Oh, really? What echelon are you in?
Teen girl: [awkwardly quiet] Uh… number three?
Tom Cruise: Exactly.
—Mission: Impossible III gala premiere, TriBeCa Film Festival, BMCC
Overheard by: mademoiselle schaeffer
Girl #1: Why don’t you want to go to Chicago with him?
Girl #2: ‘Cause he got man boobs.
–23rd St pier
Teen girl: Let’s talk about prom and Toni Morrison.
–Lincoln Center
