Giving Her What She Wants

Teen boy: You’re just a little nigger.
Teen girl: Quit playin’.
Teen boy: I will break your fucking fingers, you little nigger.
Teen girl: But–
Teen boy: Shut the fuck up! I’ll fucking kill you. I’ll punch you right in the mouth in front of all these gay fucking white people. What do you have to say?
Teen girl: I–
Teen boy: Shut the fuck up! You think I won’t? You don’t think I’m man enough, do you? I’ll hurt you so bad. I’ll fuck you up. You think I won’t?
Teen girl: You will!
Teen boy: I won’t?
Teen girl: You will!
Teen boy: I won’t?
Teen girl: You will!
Teen boy: That’s right. All you wanna do is sleep all day. You wanna go to bed right now and sleep for four days, 24/7. Fucking worthless. You should fucking die for that.

–Q train

Overheard by: Carrie

Posted on March 9, 2006
Anger Management, On the Subway, Teens, Thugs, White People

Wednesday One-liners by Athletes, for Athletes

Dude: Shit man, slow down. Slow down. Whatcha runnin’ to?Yoga? Nigga’s runnin’ to yoga. White man runnin’ to yoga. Thought yoga was supposed to cure that shit.

–Union Square

Posted on March 8, 2006
Bars & Clubs, Central Park, College, Drinking & Drunk People, Fashion, Fordham, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Sports, Stupidity, Teens, The Bronx, Thugs, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Yoga

“Word?”

Hipster guy: That’s a cool coat, it’s pimp.
Ghetto guy: Thanks…Did you say “pimp”? I’m not a pimp.
Hipster guy: No, I meant pimp like cool.
Ghetto guy: Oh, okay…It’s not real. I’m a vegan.

–A train

Overheard by: M.E. Patton

Posted on February 23, 2006
Fashion, Food, Hipsters, On the Subway, Thugs, Vegetarian & Vegan

“Wow, That’s Awesome”?

Guy #1: You know what we need? A nice breeze.
Guy #2: What the fuck are you talking about? It’s cold as balls.
Guy #1: I was being ironic.
Guy #2: That’s not ironic. Ironic is like…shit, I don’t know. Like that song.
Guy #1: Naw, man. That’s what people think, but ironic is when you say some shit but you mean some other shit.
Guy #2: Motherfucker, that’s facetious.
Guy #1: Yeah…Then what’s ironic?
Guy #2: How the fuck should I know? You the nigga with the GED.

–49th & 7th

Posted on February 23, 2006
College, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Stupidity, Thugs

That’s Only for Middle Age

Guy #1: Nigga, where you goin’?
Guy #2: To the middle of the train. I wanna be in the middle.
Guy #1: But we’re standing in the middle motherfucka.
Guy #2: No, the middle is at the end.

–23rd Street F/V station

Overheard by: Halli Civelek

Posted on February 16, 2006
Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Stupidity, Thugs

Wednesday One-liners Could Use a Scrubbing

Vendor guy: I got so much dirt under my nails, you’d think I was a crackhead.

–Fulton Mall

Overheard by: Black Girl Superstar

Posted on February 8, 2006
Manhattan, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, People, Suits, Thugs, Tourists, Vendors & Street Performers

That Reminds Me; I Need to Get a Gun

Store girl: Here’s your receipt and have a happy holiday!
Store guy: The holidays are over.
Store girl: Valentine’s Day is coming up.

–Mazzone True Value Hardware, Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: Rob

Thug guy: Yo, happy New Year’s, man.
Janitor guy: New Year’s is over, yo.
Thug guy: Happy Mother’s Day!

–Port Authority

Posted on January 28, 2006
Holidays, People, Port Authority, Thugs

Wednesday One-liners Got Their Gear

Old guy: Shit, I ain’t goin’ ice skating, I ain’t no motherfuckin’ ice skater. I’m a thug, I’m a motherfuckin’ thug nigga. Fuckin’ ice skater…L’il girl, you going ice skating?

–The Pond, Bryant Park

Overheard by: C.G.

Posted on December 14, 2005
All Wednesday One-Liners, Old People, Parks, Thugs

Wednesday One-liners Aren’t Having a Good Time

Ghetto guy: Everyone on this train need to smile!

–L train

Overheard by: Lily

Posted on December 7, 2005
Advice, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, Thugs

That’s How You Get Hepatitis G

Thug guy #1: Take a look at this shit [on my digital camera].
Thug guy #2: Look at that joint; it looks straight up like a Toys “R” Us commercial.
Thug guy #1: So we was on the safari, and you know how you’re not supposed to have the windows down on those joints? Then that girl up there rolled the window down and the giraffe stuck its head in like, “Yo, what up?” and I was like, “Bitch, roll the window up!” and it came back out. I was scared, yo. I thought that thing was gonna bite me or something.
Thug guy #3: Giraffes don’t eat meat.
Thug guy #1: I don’t care! That thing could have bit me or spit on me or licked me!

–L train shuttle bus

Overheard by: T. DeVon Robinson

Posted on November 21, 2005
Animals & Nature, Thugs, Trains Not Subway

Thugs