Overheard in the Headlines: The Strike

Old lady: They are going to strike? They should put up signs fuckers! I see you looking at me you skinny bitch, fuck you.
Conductor: The doors are closing.
Old lady: Can’t put up signs but the fucker is telling me the doors are closing.

–F train

Hobo: Don’t worry about the strike, we’ll all fly to work! Flap our wings and fly!

–14th & 7th

Guy: I was there at the strike in 1980; I remember it well. It went on for two weeks. Of course, they could never have it that long now. The population of the city has doubled since 1980.

–Bowling Green station

Overheard by: greek goddess

Conductor: Shit, I’ll get nasty right now. I’ll pull the brakes, see how they like that.

–1 train

Overheard by: Priscilla Castillo

Tween boy: So how’s the strike going?
Bus driver: If there was a strike I wouldn’t be here, you moron.

–M15 bus

Overheard by: Sara’s Hot

Posted on December 16, 2005
Anger Management, Bus Drivers, Cars and Driving, Conductors, Guys, History & Geography, Hobos, Nicknames & name calling, Old People, One-liners, Only in New York, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Travel, Tweens, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

I Can See Why Bill Had a Stroke

Wife: Bill can’t fly because of the wheelchair. He can’t get out of it.
Husband: Surely there are planes with wheelchair access. We should ask for him.
Wife: Please, like he never asked himself? He just can’t fly, ever.
Husband: That’s not true. What do you think Teddy Roosevelt did when he wanted to go somewhere? He was in a wheelchair and he was the President so he had lots of places to go. Of course there had to be planes with wheelchair areas.
Wife: Oh, I never thought of him. You’re right. We should really tell Bill about that.

–JFK

Posted on December 16, 2005
Couples, Handicaps, History & Geography, JFK Airport, Stupidity, Travel

Reeks of Wednesday One-liners

Guy: Yo, the 1/9 train always smells like ass! I think it’s the fragrance they use.

–1 train

Posted on December 14, 2005
All Wednesday One-Liners, Guys, On the Subway, Travel

Wednesday One-liners Have Their Boarding Passes

Stewardess: Ladies and gentlemen, the overhea[r]d lights will be turned off during this flight, so if you’d like a reading light, just push the button above you…The other button.

–Delta Song plane, JFK

Overheard by: Lily

Posted on December 14, 2005
All Wednesday One-Liners, Flight Attendants, JFK Airport, Travel

Then He Sold Her a Mogwai

Girl #1: I was on the subway once and missed my stop and ended up in Brooklyn. Not hipster Brooklyn, I’m talking about fried chicken and people sitting on curbs Brooklyn.
Girl #2: Wow, were you scared?
Girl #1: Yeah, so I just asked a toothless 80 year old man where the closest subway station was.

–8th Street between University & 5th

Overheard by: Jasmin Livingston